To watch my mother tripping on the prescription medication is more than I can take. It brings back in real time those times that I tripped out on speed and acid.
The one small aid keeps saying "man she is trippin!" And all I can say is, yea she is trippin.
He tells me that my mother knows Christ
That she will be going to a better place
A place where there is no suffering.
I don't know Christ.
I know of a man named Jesus who Is a
Hippie like I am. Is this Christ?
A large bird with an orange breast lands
On a branch majestic and haunting.
Stayed there for a spell and then was gone.
Every day she looks worse
Closer to death.
Oh What IS THIS THING Called death?
I feel myself shutting down.
This is the second time it's happened. You would think I would learn my lesson. This was a close call. Heartbeat down to 30. Had the pad on ready to hit me.
I get back to the home and mom didn't even know I was gone. Mom spent the entire visit talking about a small boy to her left that fell down. She is deteriorating at devastating rate now. It is a very sad time. The daily observation of my mother dying is very sad and it angers me so when she still treats me with such disdain sometimes.
I said, "Who would have guessed this is where we would be mom.?
She said, "It's a good way to go."
Freaked me out so bad I left.
I watch mom sleep, gaping mouth, heavy breathing. They say that she only has one quarter of one lung working. What a desperate way of dying.
Lost in a dreaming nightmare
Of hopes and aspirations failed.
Of love and lust lost in the spectrum of it all.
A window broken
Shattered into tiny pieces
A life shattered with it.