To watch my mother tripping on the prescription medication is more than I can take.  It brings back  in real time those times that I tripped out on speed and acid. 

The one small aid keeps saying "man she is trippin!" And all I can say is, yea she is trippin.  

 He tells me that my mother knows Christ 

That she will be going to a better place 

A place where there is no suffering. 

I don't know Christ. 

I know of a man named Jesus who Is a  

Hippie like I am.  Is this Christ? 

A large bird with an orange breast lands 

On a branch majestic and haunting. 

Stayed there for a spell and then was gone. 

Every day she looks worse 

Closer to death. 

OWhat IS THIS THING Called death? 

I feel myself shutting down. 

Potassium overload 

This is the second time it's happened.  You would think I would learn my lesson.  This was a close call.  Heartbeat down to 30.  Had the pad on ready to  hit me. 

I get back to the home and mom didn't even know I was gone.  Mom spent the entire visit talking about a small boy to her left that fell down.  She is deteriorating at  devastating rate now.  It is a very sad time. The daily observation of my mother dying is very sad and it angers me so when she still treats me with such disdain sometimes. 

I said, "Who would have guessed this is where we would be mom.? 

She said, "It's a good way to go." 

Freaked me out so bad I left. 

I watch mom sleep, gaping mouth, heavy breathing.  They say that she only has one quarter of one lung working.  What a desperate way of dying. 

Lost in a dreaming nightmare 

Of hopes and aspirations failed. 

Of love and lust lost in the spectrum of it all. 

A window broken 

Shattered into tiny pieces 

A life shattered with it. 

 

 

Views: 54

Comment by nerd cred on December 31, 2016 at 9:32pm

My sympathies, Michael. This is surely hard for you and I hope you have as much support as you can gather.

Comment by alsoknownas on January 1, 2017 at 10:08am

^^^ yes, as she said.

Comment by koshersalaami on January 2, 2017 at 5:33am

Unimaginably difficult

Comment by Zanelle on January 2, 2017 at 6:05am

Thanks for writing this...you are on the edge of the universe.

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