My last post was very heavy so I wanted to show the "our salon" readers that I also have a twisted sense of humor.

It's Saturday morning and I'm trying my best to settle down and write but first I have to check facebook, then oursalon, then twitter, then...


In the middle of all this social hub hopping, I noticed this advertisement for Christian singles: 

 


Is it just me or is she scary? Sort of Alien-head-ish. 

 


And why is she wearing a wedding dress? Did she show up for her first date in that dress? Why is she squinting her eyes? And, is that a photo flaw or is she curling the left side of her lip  like a rabid dog?


Clicking "BROWSE for FREE" feels like a trap. DON'T DO IT!!! 


If you had to choose between SINGLE CHRISTIAN in wedding gown and ANASTASIA in a red dress who would it be?

 


And  what's the better tag line (or whatever you advertising geniuses call it)... 

 

"Genuine and affectionate women" or "find God's match for you" ? 


And if being a "senior" Christian means having the skin of a 35 year old, then I'm going to start drinking holy water. 


Jill looks more like Dan's daughter than his "life partner." And what is it about Christians wearing white? Do they own any other colors? Is black or navy allowed? 

 

 

This women/child, didn't even bother to put on a shirt.  Are we to assume that she too is a Christian because of her white undershirt? And WHAT is free to look at? And why doesn't she just go to the pep rally to meet a guy? 

Look how much fun this one is having on OKCUPID.COM. White, white everywhere! Even her computer is white. It's like she's floating on a cloud of happiness. My pragmatic attitude makes me question why the bottoms of her feet are dirty? Why her champagne is not bubbling? Why no one removed the thorns from her rose? And why her sheets  are so crumpled? Is a lily-white vibrator tucked under there?

What is the ONE thing all these single women have in common (besides white attire)? 


They're all BLONDE!  Why is that? My best guess is that these toe-heads took the "blondes have more fun" phrase to heart and somehow lost their way.  Were they too busy having fun to settle down?  If so, what made them change their mind?


And what the hell is going on at WHENWOMENCHEAT.COM? (Blonde hair, no clothes)

 


This vixen claims, "I cheated on MY man, several times in 30 days! WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT MEN!!!"  Clearly she's excited about it. 


According to MARRYMESUGARDADDY.COM there are over 5,349 registered members in my town alone! 

 


It's the crazy monkey in me that MUST...KEEP...SEARCHING! Surely there must be a dating site that supports roots of a different color?


My persistance paid off - I finally found one...



Now SHE is lovely AND this non-christian is sporting navy. Coincidence? I think not.

jewcier

Brilliant! Hands down the best internet dating site name of all times.

Jew = juicy

or juicier

regardless

Jew = Clever

photo's courtesy of google search

Views: 229

Comment by Joan H on January 5, 2013 at 7:31am
I cannot turn on the television without a "Christian Mingle" ad every 5 minutes. Gah.
You, and this post, are very funny.
Comment by James Mark Emmerling on January 5, 2013 at 8:14am

I actually DO want to meet God's match for me, cuz of my personal Theology: the God I worship is cool as hell and wants the very best for me especially romantically and sexually. Same God that the great poet Wm. Blake worshipped. He said "the Last Judgment begins in the Loins...with an Increase in Sensual Enjoyment".

These Christians are an interesting lot, are they not?

Their sexual immaturity is almost embarrassing at times, but luckily I never wished to worship their weird God , the dude who was fully human and fully God yet died a criminal’s death without ever having sex…so I find it humorous too. Blondes and the color white are somehow ancient embedded Christian symbols of purity, NORTH EUROPEAN style. The Christians who mingle on this site I expect are mostly white bread, tho I could be wrong.   They are whitebread in the soul, though, I am sure of that.

~

As a piggish man i kinda wanna despoil those lovely white sheets and make that blonde chick sweat a bit.  I could pretend to be a Christian i suppose. But I want nothing to do with that blonde in the wedding dress with the diabolical face!

Comment by Emily Conyngham on January 5, 2013 at 9:03am

Ha! I definitely better not set up shop in New Orleans with those kind of numbers! I tried online dating ever-so-briefly last summer . Gah! Yuckadoo! Funny thing though, I have a male friend who actually dates those women, and they DO look like that!

Comment by Phyllis on January 5, 2013 at 9:16am

The first girl with the big head is what was called a "lollipop" a few years ago- she's gotten so thin that her head looks too big for her body. I wish I had bookmarked the page I found recently. It was a dating site based on FICO scores, and they had a silhouette of a busty, lingerie clad woman, the kind you see in silver on mudflaps, lying back on her elbows with her legs spread at the top of the page under the logo. At least at a bar, you get to wear beer goggles.

Comment by Lyle Elmgren on January 5, 2013 at 9:28am

Its all a game. Buyer beware. Who actually benefits from this? How about the Russian women looking for men?

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