Sorry I have been away for so long.

I wrote this a few weeks back and undoubtedly it is shit but somebody told me to post it.

~

Oddly, I am in a tizzy over propane…

~

I spoke to Him today and he said, go get a tank…

Landlord man…

(got not a lot of money in a bank…)

I wondered briefly why we gotta get our own means to heat this place this new england winter.

Sure heat don’t come with all rents, but…usually there are means available in the place to obtain some heat, right? Or am I wrong? 

~

And then,  dear Meathole screamed about his toast the other morning.

See , He had prepared me a fine breakfast

With a less than satisfactory english muffin, so I said, innocently, only just awake:

“is there any toast?”

Turned out to be a Bad move.

His voice got huge volume. Remonstrating and chastising me…

I had only awaken, though: do you see what I mean?

I had a muffin but I wanted toast…is this a sin?

~

Well his reaction?I feared it sent sound waves

all down the Echo Chamber stone valley we live in now.

I feared what the neighbors might think.

~

I had a dream: I was in the Bahamas, too drunk to get up and catch the ferry .

(Still I was in the Bahamas)

Then I woke up, to a horrid message came from a friend.

He said someone said that on Facebook I look fat

And oughta lose weight.

I was hurt bad, cuz I know this fairy

 (  he is one) for fifteen years, he is my friend!

I love him.

I tried responding and he , a licensed therapist, said, cant talk now

Gotta take my pills and go to sleep .

Bomb throwers need their rest. Anarchists of the soul….

~

Next morning I still burning with betrayal, told him what I thought, how I felt

He says, no no, right now cannot respond, got a crisis.

~

I hate repeating myself.

I called a good friend and he couldn’t keep up with my venting.

I took him to task. Threatened to hang up on him.

He said, “for chrissakes you think at the speed of light, just like me, but goddammit gimme 1.5 seconds to catch up!”

I let him talk awhile , venting my fury at my so called friend.

Like for telling me I am not fat , I am beautiful.

I said firmly, “I am fat. I look fat. Shut up”

A friend is someone who never stops building you up, has no interest in tearing you down.

So is a lover I have heard.

A rumor.

~

My sister is being mischievous again.

She got my dad under her thumb.

She is spurting threats at me.

~

 I suppose I should try to learn to just…lay back. Get easy.

 These so called friends?I saw something in them once I suppose…

And… it is still there

But maybe

 a bit of time without me

to dump their shit into would do our relationship good.

~

Ok…

I am gonna take a nap.

Life is exhausting sometimes…

Views: 257

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on October 29, 2013 at 9:43am

yikes lady no wonder u in a 'tizzy'. my dear old mom used to use that word, haven't heard it in awhile..

bomb throwers of the soul aint really our true friends, I gotta say.

cuz you gotta obviously make a good smart bomb and send it back their way, and this leads to escalation.

all u find yerself doing is trading hurt with one you love...

this situation u in sounds troubling, but tenable. controllable.

remember u are a poet .

remember to FUCKING WRITE once in awhile. cuz people who write? they tend to understand.

Comment by tr ig on October 29, 2013 at 10:18am

Meathole? Ha.. 

Has the price of Newports in Newport gone over ten yet? 

It's good to see you writing, and I'm doubting you're "fat" ok Alexis. I would agree muffins are over-rated. Stay warm dear. 

Comment by Arthur James on October 29, 2013 at 2:13pm

`

She's fun . . .

I Love Her Last Name.

She be FUN in School,

Garden, CourtHouse,

and `SHE` NO` DRAW?

`

Handguns ON` NotePad?

LET's ` HoPe ` SHe No?

Be FURIOUS ` @! Jake?

Gosh . . . ` Let's TRY?

NO ` mUSTER` Fake?

O, O, ` JOY & Hope?

`

I just ` come & reap?

Mental ` good & peace?

I seek` mental `1 calm.

`

 I see  I all alone ` Here?

Where's other ` bloggers?

Maybe readers be ` drunk?

`

tease

I blame?

James M.E.?

Homer -

No Compound

Life's `MISERY:

`

NO Project` Blame:

It's another ` Wild:

FUNNY Day` Indeed:

`

Maybe ` Later? I Hope.

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on October 29, 2013 at 2:43pm

hey mr art JAMES when dealing with this alexis JAMES with a silly bon mot from a JAMES emmerling?

I suspect the universe has had enough of JAMES es. ay all us jameses tend to think alike, e.g:

I just ` come & reap? (yah me too)

Mental ` good & peace?I seek` mental `1 calm.(this has been my priority since I emerged distressed, from the womb..)

`

 I see  I all alone ` Here?(seems so , but nope u aint)

Where's other ` bloggers?Maybe readers be ` drunk?(drunk with success or drunk with miserable hightone-ed-ness, this idea they better than us)

Comment by Arthur James on October 29, 2013 at 3:12pm

`

James M. Emmerling?

Teach` @ `Our Salon?

`

Teach basic Intro:

To PSYCHE Class?

We ask Whether?

`

Jake Be normal?

Is ID short for?

ego or idiot?

`

I Love ` alexis james.

I truly `am serious too.

I remember ` @ Open:

She's more ` real than?

Jacob Sugarman or ` huh?

Maybe I'll ask ` pro` hack?

I no reveal any ` good` hack?

Soon? We get ` fancy` tattoo?

I recall She has ` nice tattoos?

I might be demented` as `JME?

James M.E. & me? get a ` heart?

We go to mall for? Heart Tattoo?

`

IF ` it's past 6:00 PM ` I get sleepy.

`

AMAZING!

NONE HERE?

JUST ME & JME!

AND ~ COMMENT

SRTICK & NO GO!

`

GOSH!

CALL 9-11?

`

Eric Holder?

James Comey?

Call ` FBI? OK!

`

I try to send ` gin

this feeble comment.

What wastrel Salon!

`

backtrack . . . okay . . .

`

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on October 29, 2013 at 3:29pm

 ARTHUR, no, no need to teach nothing at our saloon.

I too kinda got  soft spot for mz alexis she a wild conundrum hurricane of a girl.

Yup you recall right she got very nice tattoos.if we two goofballs ever get a heart

We shold go to mz alex’s shop to get tattooed. Oh boy.

She is an accredited tattoo girl yknow.

I hope she comes around to see how much goofy lovingkindness coming her way..

Comment by Rosigami on October 29, 2013 at 3:37pm

Undoubtedly it is NOT shit.
In fact I find it eloquent, poignant, infuriating (meathole, and so-called friends)  and poignant. Also funny. 
Love your style.


Comment by Arthur James on October 29, 2013 at 3:40pm

`

`

Dear `James M. E.

It's as `Plain as day.

You/me can't hide: 

`

Love is ` effervescent.

Love ` bubbles` Love's

Fizzy . . .` love` Buoyant.

J.M.E . . . Thanks` Love,

Always . . . I go hit ` Sack.

I am no` sex` ist or` Flirt.

We just adore a` Woman.

I agree in` Lovingkindness.

`

I sign out & ` Hope to snore.

Comment by James Mark Emmerling on October 29, 2013 at 4:17pm

No ART we cannot hide, and nor can our dear mz james.

For “Love is ` effervescent./Love ` bubbles` Love's/Fizzy . . .` love` Buoyant.”

This is something you just cannot fake!

Oh I hit sack soon too I aint on no ones love list. Adoration of a woman in lovingkindness

Is an eternal virtue I suspect

Comment by Arthur James on October 29, 2013 at 4:32pm

`

James M. E. . . 

i refuse to see

new client IF

She` no nice.

Tomorrow  . . 

I hope She do

Help me/J.M.E.

and

We be ` merry . . .

`'

Good night` Aye,

and Sun No ` Go

Down IF` `angry.

`

We go` conk, and

we hit` haystack,

and dream ` frolic.

`

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