kathy at castle






Dearest K,

        I burned your letters tonight.  The different hued papers and inks with which you would write to me made a colorful flame.


        I realize that my letters to you were disposed of long ago.


        There had been a cold rain so I made the little fire on a hill under the stars.  I thought I should immolate myself on that pyre


        You are a flame in my mind.  Since our time together I know I have spent my life with my head on backwards watching that distant flame as if you were still near.  In that manner I have bumped into other women and hurt them


        A billion billion fiery cataclysms led to us meeting.  I want to be grateful for that, not bitter


        I needed a ceremony.  It had to end in fire as it had all begun


        Yes, I crippled myself loving you.


        No, I'm sorry, that is not true.  There is no one like you.  That's all


        I was lucky to know you.  And for too long I have needed my memory of you to be encased in perspective and placed in amber, a sacred relic, not blinding my eyes every day


        I have lived my whole life with a NONsense of destiny.  I have put myself against the Gates of Hell too many times with expectations.


        I have cursed and dishonored the very forces that created the two of us.


        No more.


        I shall be grateful for your daily breath.





Alan Grody





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Comment by Kathy Knechtges on December 9, 2013 at 2:27pm

you show deep humility and generosity of spirit    perhaps you are now ready to love again


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