i'm a tv addict anyway. most people with agoraphobia are. (AG from now on.) now i don't cook or bake. i make salad and guacamole and hamburgers and hot dogs... you get the picture.
my dead husband was really a delightful man. he was a landscape architect and he played jazz flute and sax. i was so much fun because he would sit in with groups and we spent a lot of fun in the clubs and in people's homes. i love jazz and blues...
so much more at another time. how he came from a family of addicts and alcoholics. i call them the rednect in-laws. and he was the sober one but had addictions of his own of course. he could deal easily with my mental illnesses . he's just tell me, you don't mean that. and should i go for a walk or should you?
but the cooking thing... (shit, i have to stop doing this. the Idiot in Chief uses a lot of ellipses so they are poisoned.
richard was what they call in dysfunctional family parlance the Family Hero. the youngest and more later. he was a master of all the domestic arts. while i am challenged in those areas. so we would cook together. i would chop things up and get all the ingredients together and he would make it all in to Food! wonderful food.
so after he died, i would chop and prepare but i didn't know how to put it all together. and i missed him so much so i began spending as little time in the kitchen as possible. eventually i took cooking classes. the obvious things.
so i am in awe of people who can cook and bake. masterfully. i love almost any show that is about talented people competing with each other and getting the props that they deserve. project runway, top chef, hate masterchef, the new one Make It that is about crafting. and more.
so the british backing show? i mean, shit, it's freaking british. so everyone is polite and lovely and some are funny and paul hollywood is so handsome and kind of mean, etc. and what they create! i get so invested in all the contestants and i root for them and worry about the and hate when they lose, although because it's british and they are kind to each other, the remaining competitors are devastated when someone has to leave. and the ones who have to go and very stiff upper lip while they cry. and mostly all remain in touch afterwards and they show pictures of their gatherings!
so much more that i love but this is probably annoying. there was a season on pbs but it is now on Netflix. which is great so you can binge watch it when you have no life like me.
okay, imagine my surprise and delight when i saw that there is a Holiday Show!!! it's only 4 people. there is one guy, paul i think, who made this lion out of bread and it's magnificent. paul hollywood said it was the best bread creation he ever saw. and bread is Paul H.'s Thang.
people would shout out Lion when they saw him. of course i adore the other contestants. so it's a short thing.so i'm extremely happy that there is this and other stuff to watch this weekend. on streaming.
and i am so very sad. richard also baked some. i helped him with that too but, being so domestically challenged, i never learned how. i'm actually thinking about attempting to make something simple.
okay, enough from me. that lion bread thing is worth googling.
back to being very very sad. i am so blessed to have my animals. neither one of them does that thing where they sense that you are sad and come comfort you. which sucks bigtime. but they are always nearby. one of my favorite things is reading in bad with my critters curled up beside me. cocoa is extremely competitive. she used to body check ella fitzgerald out of the waywhen she was getting any attention. i would have to hold her back so my moodEllavator could get her share of the love.
so cocoa is kind of a bitch and lies at the end of the bed and i try to entice her to come up by my head and she won't. but if my gigantic transgender kitty curls up by my head???? she is, cartoonishly quickly, right up there in bobby seale's face.
back to the baking. the c---- upstairs has, a usual, cranked up her tv to the point where the ceiling vibrates. and comes through my earbuds and my noise canceling headphones and the two white noise machine. but i am working on breathing and and just not letting it get to me.
and yes, i had another painbody before this. there is no insulation between floor and ceiling. they ran out of money so you hear everything sound that the person above you makes. good people wear socks or slippers. c---s wear hard shoes. guess which one this sheer delight puts on.
sorry. i have severe ptsd so outside noise is not good. i mean, who knew that mental illness wasn't fun? and yes, i should move. but i am AG so, not so much.
kitty is trying to get in to my hot chocolate.
love love love and gratitude