i know i am being a giant asshole for not reading other people's posts...and some comedy.

oh wow, i just remembered that there is a section in my standup is about being a recovering account and a recovering 'ho -- big laughs for this because i am so not 'ho like now. basically an old broad with a little dog.

i later added that i am a relapsing recovering asshole. and how you never recover and you have to go to rehab for like 2 years. oh, and Asshole is in the DSM 5 or whatever it is now. after agoraphobia and, shit, i can't remember. this is a nightmare... agoraphobia and,,, i will remember it after i publish this, fuck fuck fuck...

love love love gratitude

teddy et al

Views: 66

Comment by koshersalaami on November 30, 2018 at 6:11pm

You’ll get to them in your own time, whichever ones you get to. 

Comment by Theodora L'Engle Knight on November 30, 2018 at 9:57pm

thanks, kosh. i had a breakthrough tonight which is a huge relief. i've been battling with this terrifyingly evil person upstairs from me. and it's brought out the very worst in me because i have severe PTSD and hearing the banging around, well.... so she bangs around, and i get up on step ladder and taunt her. and i've been such a monster even more than i thought. i finally realized that it terrifies cocoa when i yell upstairs to her. she runs and hides in her crate. i am such an awful person for being so absorbed with being hateful because of being so triggered by all those awful sounds -- which terrify cc and kitty. cc barks and hides behind me -- that i didn't notice cc's distress. so that shit is over. she can do anything she wants and it will be awful. but thanks to my best friend, i will be returning to who i really am when i'm not having flashbacks and such. and she can do whatever she wants. what a huge relief. i owe both of my critters a whole lot of treats.

Comment by Rodney Roe on December 1, 2018 at 7:45pm

Whether by nature or design, you have stream of consciousness writing down.

I'm not really seeing ass-holiness. 

Asshole would be before attention deficit hyperactive disorder.

Comment by Theodora L'Engle Knight on December 1, 2018 at 8:29pm

oh wow, rodney, what a lovely thing to say!!!! god, i'm almost in tears. i have worked hard at that kind of writing so to hear that i've got it right? could not mean more.

and, yes, asshole would be right there!

Comment by koshersalaami on December 1, 2018 at 8:29pm

That I’ve got. 

Comment by Theodora L'Engle Knight on December 1, 2018 at 8:55pm

don't understand that comment, kosh.

Comment by Rodney Roe on December 2, 2018 at 7:48am

Yeah, kosh, ADHD or assholiness or even PTSD?

Comment by Theodora L'Engle Knight on December 2, 2018 at 4:06pm

thanks, rodney. kosh can be enigmatic sometimes with his pithy comments. :) where the hell do i get all those emojis from? the eggplant and all that. and how do i get them on my phone and on my email, etc..

Comment by Rodney Roe on December 2, 2018 at 4:11pm

I am not the one to ask. My nine tear old granddaughter could help you. I think they are dangerous. Sent my daughter a smiley face which turned out to be an angry face.

Comment by Theodora L'Engle Knight on December 2, 2018 at 5:10pm

oh god, rodney, that is so funny. i have no idea how to use them properly. but i just want to have them available. so i can pretty to be a tiny bit young and in the know. it's very sad, i know.

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