I Hereby Discover Our Salon! Please now celebrate. Thanks.

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So you got this sword wearing, long haired, Italian guy, that doesn't even live in Italy, who sails across a big 'ol pond.  

Once he hits land again, in spite of it belonging to and being occupied by other people, he "discovers" it and claims it all as his.  

We now celebrate his theft (and subsequent murder of thousands of indigenous people).

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So I figure, "What the hell!", ya know?

...I'm Italian and I don't live in Italy...

...and I've rowed across my pond a bunch of times...

...and I own a sword and have hair down to my shoulders...

Oh HELL yeah!!!  

I hereby "discover" and claim Our Salon as mine.

 

Y'all now have to either live as my slaves (which means I'll probably abuse and mistreat you so bad you'll die) or I'll kill you (your choice...  cuz I'm nice like that.)

As my slaves I expect y'all to celebrate the day of your enslavement too!  

From now on we will call today Amy Day and you WILL hold a parade honoring your own enslavement and murders.

 

ENJOY!!!!

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Comment by Boanerges on October 9, 2017 at 8:31am

I'd support an "Amy Day", but then I'm weird, since today is our Thanksgiving.

Anyway, estimates of indigenous people in North America range from 20 million to 40 million when Europeans made landfall. I wouldn't forgive me either.

Comment by Ron Powell on October 9, 2017 at 9:06am

"Y'all now have to either live as my slaves (which means I'll probably abuse and mistreat you so bad you'll die) or I'll kill you (your choice...  cuz I'm nice like that.)"

Miss Amy,

Does this mean that we're better off now?

BTW, Paddock doesn't have a thing on Columbus. 

Comment by Ron Powell on October 9, 2017 at 9:25am

...And while we're wringing our hands over the disrespectful names of professional sports franchises, and the removal of certain statues and monunebts, let's take another good look at the name that was given to the Nation's Capitol. 

What now?

Comment by Safe Bet's Amy on October 9, 2017 at 10:35am

Does this mean that we're better off now?

PFFFFT!  Well of course it does!  I'm bringing DEMOCRACY and FREEDOM (if you're European and white)!  

Note:  The above listed "benefits" of having me "discover" you include free genocides, pandemics and land theft.

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Comment by koshersalaami on October 9, 2017 at 1:01pm

With a capital of Washington, DA (District of Amia)

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