the whole saga of an incompetent and possibly misogynist psychiatrist prescribing the wrong meds.. well, failing to prescribe the right meds. and the resulting months of the pain and suffering of insomnia and anxiety and bipolar depression. not so fun, is below....
but much more important is a lovely mix up that has led to the solution. well, it will be that once i get the dosage and the contraindications figured out.
so i was desperate to get a handle on these extreme symptoms. my regular MD who is an angel on earth sent me to a naturopath at the clinic. she prescribed me a shitload of herbs to make in to tea and sent me to an herb store located, thankfully, just down a few roads from where i live. an especially wonderful turn of events considering that i am agoraphobic and yada yada yada...
now, i am not a conservative person by any means. way back in the day i experimented with quaaludes -- a major favorite -- and LSD and mescaline and well, you get the idea but that was kind of it. not so much in to the smoking stuff. and all these decades later not really up on the laws pertaining to those products.
the natural doctor had told me the street that the Herb place was on but not the exact address. so i get to the general area and i see a store, on the right side of the minor hwy, with a giant leaf design on the window and i figure this is it. i let my trusty sweet sweet sweet senior service dog cocoa chanel out -- she is an adorable chi/min pin/dachshund mix that people immediately fall in love with but that is a whole other story.
we are out of the car and we head up the stairs. the door is locked and we have to be buzzed in but i am still not getting the idea. and there are canisters containing all kinds of what look like herbs... on shelves all along the several walls of the store.
the guy behind the counter asks for my ID and writes down the information, which seems odd to me. i am still not catching on. i know, i know. i'm blaming it all on the insomnia. that's my story...
he is very hip and kind of slick. not what i was expecting, which was someone more on the hippy dippy side but i tell him that i'm looking for some herbs and i pull out the list and he is kind enough to not laugh in my face.
he sweetly explains to me that they sell a different kind of Herb and i'm, well, color me red. as i said, i am not a fan of smoking so i ask him about edibles. mild edibles. i know that much. that you can eat pot in various forms. and i have a vague idea that things have gotten a quantum leap more sophisticated than what i knew way back then. so maybe there are kinds of marijuana that are specifically for anxiety or insomnia.
well, this guy of course sees that i am a complete novice and probably not ready to imbibe.. and he pulls out something that he tells me is called CBD. and that it is helpful for humans and also DOGS. well, i look down at my wonderpup... she is, as always, excited about anything i'm interested in. she's 14 but she is spry and happy to be Out the House.
okay, enough of this. i feel like shit and i apologize for this awful writing.
i buy the CBD and look across the street and there is the Herbarium!!! unfortunately it's on the other side of a kind of minor highway but still a highway so cocoa and i come close to getting hit by a car. i have got to get us some reflective clothing. she is very fashion conscious. and political. insists on being called a Canine American...
the herb shop is very hippy dippy. peter max would feel at home there. and the kinder gentler artists of the period. got my 5 herbs. cost 4 dollars. the CBD was 60. we'll see what is worth the investment.
okay, so, i was taken off a bipolar med that had turned on me and was poisoning me, causing dizziness and numbness and falling down in parking lots... not as fun as it might sound.
unfortunately, that drug has a serious sedative effect which was extremely helpful. before that i was on something else that allowed me to sleep. before that i was clinically depressed and slept all the time.
so i have never had trouble sleeping and am sorely tempted to go back on the Dizzy stuff because i would rather fall down everywhere than feel the way i do now.
love love love and gratitude -- well, not, not so much with that right now.
teddy et al
answer to kosh's question about my doctor changing up my meds and whatever. pretty much a long novella: