Dear friends,

        I have owned and managed this site since 2010. When Open Salon went away, I offered the site as a place for people to join and connect with one another. At that time, the goal was simply to keep people from losing contact with friends they had made over the years at Open Salon.

Over the past few years, the site has evolved into a functioning blogging site. While that was never my intention, I do not regret any decisions I made to allow that to happen and even to improve that experience. It has been a lot of work and sometimes a bit of a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and also it has been fun.

In the last year, the fun has gone out of it for me & the result of that has been my absence. The constant in-fighting, the lack of support for any efforts I have made to make this place financially self-sustaining. While I appreciate those who have contributed, it has always been the same few individuals. Overall there has been a lack of financial support from the majority... all of it has worn me out. What has kept me going has been the strong sense of community I would occasionally glimpse when for example we shared common losses of some of our members. That sense of community made all the crap worth it.

In the last few weeks I have received multiple complaints regarding the tediousness of the same old disagreements in comments, the constant barrage of political posts, the crazy behavior of certain commenters etc etc... As of today, I have emails from 9 people who are going to "take a break" or otherwise disengage themselves from the site because the fun has gone out of it for them as well.  They too are just plain worn out from it.

SO... now what? I don't know really, but first let me say that I will not just "disappear" the site the way Open Salon did. Your blogs are not in jeopardy of being forever lost (though as a rule I think you should always be backing up your work as a precaution against things beyond my control.) At this point, I am simply sharing this information with you all. As it stands, the active members are few and some people are leaving. This cannot continue.  As active members here, do with that information what you will. Each of you can choose to try to make this place better, or worse, or just ignore it all until there is no way to sustain the site. Its up to you. I am open to & will entertain & support any & all useful discussions about where we go from here.

Meanwhile, I have suspended Art James once again. He has become a negative influence and frankly, it will be easier for me to deal with the complaints FROM him (and possibly others) than  dealing with the complaints ABOUT him.

As I said, I am willing to listen to any possible solutions and to give this place a chance, I am just unwilling to live with the status quo or do it alone.

As to the financial needs, please do not donate or ask about donations at this time.  Until there is a viable plan for the future, I will maintain full financial responsibility for the site. Money is not really the problem & therefor not the solution.

Views: 1787

Comment by Anna Herrington on December 2, 2017 at 4:49pm

Ron, I'm not trying to be irksome or find something irksome in you.

I really laughed when I read the comment, then saw it was your comment, then knew you must not be kidding as you don't appear to joke, here, so then I hesitated to appear like an idiot and state I don't know what you meant by that because you and I haven't interacted much or shared anything light in comment....

I wasn't and am not arguing or picking, I really didn't know what you meant. and still don't. I did wonder, is my showing photos considered exhibitionist? Monkey's artwork the same? Phyllis's achievements at her house too? I don't know!

Voyeur?? who? how?

As for the sexual intent to the definition of the words, well, that's not my manifestation, that's in the dictionary definition of both words. Why I commented back at all.

I am literally asking.

You can decide I ought to know, and okay, but.... I *don't* know what you mean. Why I asked. I'd rather appear stupid and ask the question than be stupid and never learn. One of my mother's phrases, for better or worse, guess I'm following suit.

Wasn't trying to raise your defenses or your wall.

SIGH.

Comment by Safe Bet's Amy on December 2, 2017 at 5:14pm

Nice try, Anna...

Image result for mansplained sign

...but ain't it fun when people tell you what you REALLY though?

Oh, and yeah... yeah...  I know  ::roll eyes::

Image result for you've been mansplained pin

Comment by Ron Powell on December 2, 2017 at 5:30pm

The sexual elements of the definitions of both terms are certainly there but not limited to the sexual references:

Voyeur(ism): a person who likes seeing and talking or writing about something that is considered to be private.

Exhibition(ism):
the act or practice of behaving so as to attract attention to oneself

From the Webster Online Dictionary

Again, I made a substantive positive suggestion re finding a "solution". Lorianne reacted and no one seems to be interested in following up on something that isn't likely to result in a squawk or dust up of some kind....

Why is that?

Comment by alsoknownas on December 2, 2017 at 5:32pm

I understood Ron.

I understand that it also might be that others didn't.

That's what the new OurS could be like. 

Statement. Question. Follow up.

Comment by Anna Herrington on December 2, 2017 at 5:47pm

"Why is that?"

For me, never occurred to me you'd find a 'dust up' in my question.

What I looked up (after thinking there must be a broader meaning I'm not getting as I've never heard these terms used in any other way than this):

Exhibitionism means that a person likes others to see his or her sexual parts or likes other people to see him/her doing sexual things.

Voyeurism means that a person likes looking at the sexual parts of other people or likes to watch other people doing sexual things while whoever the voyeur is watching is unaware.

I really just wondered what you meant - really. and still don't know what you mean as private to you seems to mean anything personal and same with exhibitionist I guess as no one here to me seems to do any of that these days, but, am not finding the words without them being turned differently and I'm not getting any clarity myself, so.......

aka, glad you understood, what did he mean? who is exhibitionist or voyeuristic here? what's wrong with posts about your own life if that's what he means? Jesus, it shouldn't be that hard to ask a simple question without all these opaque-to-me layers as if I've got some nefarious agenda on purpose against Ron going on.... 

It's not worth the effort at this point. 

Have a good evening.

Comment by alsoknownas on December 2, 2017 at 5:52pm

Anna, 

All I think Ron is saying, in his own way, is that he plays his cards close to his chest.

Others fan them out in front of everybody.

My dad was a gambler. Hence the metaphor.

Comment by koshersalaami on December 2, 2017 at 6:30pm

I'm still wondering about Our Salon exhibitionism.  Keiko used to write about that stuff but that was generally fiction. I'm trying to picture Our Salon voyeurism. Peeking under the walls of our text boxes while we write? No sense in that, the text box walls disappear when the comment posts. 

Comment by lorianne on December 2, 2017 at 6:37pm

"what did you mean by that?" is simply an expression of non-understanding and a request for clarity.

For the love of god & all thats holy, it isnt an attack or hidden agenda or anything other than a request for clarity.

sometimes a damn cigar is just a damn cigar.

you should be grateful someone cares enough to want to understand you.  *gah!* this place.... I swear...

Comment by koshersalaami on December 2, 2017 at 6:55pm

Regarding earlier comments:

It's not whether you disagree, it's how you disagree. 

Comment by Rodney Roe on December 2, 2017 at 7:11pm

Thanks, Lorianne for all your work.  This has been a sort of virtual Cheers, and one of the three things you should never do in a bar is talk about politics or religion.  This message is encouraging.  I had forgotten that this was originally a social site for writers.  I came here to blog and then began to look at the people here as friends.

As to changes; I think Ron's idea of categories isn't bad, and Kosh's comment about the manner in which we disagree Is "spot on". 

I'm going to stick around and see what develops.

Again thanks for your hard work and patience.

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