The diet is killing me. I am always hungry and not just a little famished no, i'm talking 20 white castle, large pizza extra cheese, banana peppers, mushrooms and a drive to whopper two hours later hunger.
Being hole up in a nursing home in a city of forty thousand people, mostly farmers crippled up with my kidneys shut down, 63 years old, overweight and filled with the occasional reality check of life and death I find myself sitting in my chair not able to grasp all of it.
Jane, the winier got a new roommate and they spent the whole night fighting and were still fighting when the breakfast trays came around. Janis was sitting in her chair in the common area yelling at the top of her lungs that she needed a phone to call Tom to come and get her and take her home. It seems her day at school was done. Resident Thomas was wheeling around talking to himself. The rest were all lining up and heading to the cafeteria.
Same thing every day. We all know the shuffle..
I got a new roommate... He is An old smelly fuck who spends most of his time naked throwing his shit around while screaming, yelling, barking, etc.
Update... My new roommate died...Four for four...
The math of it all is very complicated and oh so very simple/
After the stroke and coma i have had to relearn a new way of typing. It's been so frustating. I used to type fast, anyway...
the fact that we are able to calculate life by a formula brings us closer to a greater understanding. That and the love of peace and nature.
I have watched so many of my dialysis group die. I have never missed a session since i started. After everything that has happened i find myself reflecting filled with empowerment and fear.
The most important part of the journey is i am still there.