When I was 8 years old, I got my head stuck between 2 bars of a railing at the beach! (well, that explains a lot)
There are no accidents; G-d wanted me to write comedy!
I can't explain it - I wasn't a Tomboy, a wannabe porn contortionist or want to run away with the circus - it was just dumb un-luck!
Was the view so much better on the other side of the bars? Geez!
Away from my Maryland home & under my childless Aunt & Uncle's care in the Bronx for the summer; we spent a day at Rye Beach, New York.
After that day, I guess I blocked everything out - so there's very little details; but as a writer, I'm happy to fill in the gaps with exaggerated prose & side notes from my therapist.
Being my Aunt was a Registered Nurse & her husband, a Pharmacist; I thought between the two they could figure out something - but noooo - they were at a loss of inspiration & lacking a crowbar that day.
One should always bring a crowbar to the beach; along with towels, lotion & change for a Fudgsicle.
To be honest with you, I don't know what they did; I probably passed out minute 59. Yes, it took a long time & not my favorite position.
But, I've got to tell you - the thoughts in your head when you find yourself in a trapped predicament is like no other - something like flying Spirit Airlines!
What makes it worse is; it was before we ever hit the sand & the rest of the day was kind of shot for me; what with the stink eye & the taunts of an imbecilic nature.
And, that was just the Lifeguards!
But recently, while nostalgically looking for photos on-line of Rye Beach & Playland - low & behold; I recognized the distinctive Pavilion on the Boardwalk from the charming 1988 Blockbuster Hit Movie "Big".
That's it - I was there, I was there!
At the helm of this endearing film is talented Director, Penny Marshall & masterful actor, Tom Hanks; who breezes in & out of puberty in a most delightful way.
In the movie - because 13 year old Josh wasn't tall enough for an amusement ride, he discovers a Zoltar Wishing Machine on the boardwalk & makes a wish to be bigger.
For better or worse, Josh wakes up the next morning & finds himself in an adult body & is shocked.
Whereas with me; it's totally different - I wake up, put on Depends, kvetch & need Ben-Gay!
The length of the movie is 1 hour, 38 minutes. Being trapped between 2 bars; like I was - felt like days.
I was 8 & my wish was to make my head smaller!
Not actually me - but the Lifeguard's hands were amazing!