"HEAD GAMES @ The Beach wishing for VASELINE"!

When I was 8 years old, I got my head stuck between 2 bars of a railing at the beach! (well, that explains a lot)

There are no accidents; G-d wanted me to write comedy!

The railing - Rye Beach, New York - Before & After

I can't explain it - I wasn't a Tomboy, a wannabe porn contortionist or want to run away with the circus - it was just dumb un-luck!

Was the view so much better on the other side of the bars?  Geez!

Away from my Maryland home & under my childless Aunt & Uncle's care in the Bronx for the summer; we spent a day at Rye Beach, New York.

After that day, I guess I blocked everything out - so there's very little details; but as a writer, I'm happy to fill in the gaps with exaggerated prose & side notes from my therapist.

Being my Aunt was a Registered Nurse & her husband, a Pharmacist; I thought between the two they could figure out something - but noooo - they were at a loss of inspiration & lacking a crowbar that day.

One should always bring a crowbar to the beach; along with towels, lotion & change for a Fudgsicle.

To be honest with you, I don't know what they did; I probably passed out minute 59.  Yes, it took a long time & not my favorite position.

But, I've got to tell you - the thoughts in your head when you find yourself in a trapped predicament is like no other - something like flying Spirit Airlines!

What makes it worse is; it was before we ever hit the sand & the rest of the day was kind of shot for me; what with the stink eye & the taunts of an imbecilic nature. 

And, that was just the Lifeguards!

But recently, while nostalgically looking for photos on-line of Rye Beach & Playland - low & behold; I recognized the distinctive Pavilion on the Boardwalk from the charming 1988 Blockbuster Hit Movie "Big".

That's it - I was there, I was there!

bath house, Rye Beach Playland, Rye, New York

Rye Beach, New York Tide Station Location Guide

Big Movie Posters From Movie Poster Shop

At the helm of this endearing film is talented Director, Penny Marshall & masterful actor, Tom Hanks; who breezes in & out of puberty in a most delightful way.

In the movie - because 13 year old Josh wasn't tall enough for an amusement ride, he discovers a Zoltar Wishing Machine on the boardwalk & makes a wish to be bigger.

For better or worse, Josh wakes up the next morning & finds himself in an adult body & is shocked.

Whereas with me; it's totally different - I wake up, put on Depends, kvetch & need Ben-Gay!

Fox is adapting the 1988 Tom Hanks’ movie “Big” into a TV show

Big from Tom Hanks: Movie Star! | E! Online

The length of the movie is 1 hour, 38 minutes.  Being trapped between 2 bars; like I was - felt like days. 

I was 8 & my wish was to make my head smaller!

Small head or big hand? - Strange Funny Pictures - funiacs.com

Not actually me - but the Lifeguard's hands were amazing!


Views: 141

Comment by Zanelle on June 15, 2016 at 8:52am

Zoltar!  Thanks for this funny look at life.  The beach.  Nature and fun are a good combo.  You made me smile!!

Comment by marilyn sands on June 15, 2016 at 11:12am

Thanks Z!  I'm sure if it were today - lookie-loos would be pulling out their phones & the pic would be all over the place! 

Comment by Rosigami on June 15, 2016 at 11:18am

This was hilarious! Thanks for the laughs today! 

It brought back some memories...

Kids do these things, simply because it occurs to them to do it.
Why else would they put their heads through railings, shove a bean up their nose (yes, I did that, when I was 8, and it took a very long time for my Mom to pry it out with a tweezer and a toothpick,and there was a LOT of blood...), swallow a penny, bring a cup full of ants into the house to play with (it had started raining!) and lose them in the couch, that sort of thing.

Big is one of my favorite Tom Hanks movies. I am going to have to see it again. 

Comment by koshersalaami on June 15, 2016 at 11:39am

I'm glad the boardwalk is still there. To my knowledge, FAO Schwartz is, unfortunately, not. which is where the dancing on the keyboard took place. First place I ever was where they sold Lego by the bin - you literally took a scoop and filled a bag. I think Lego at Disney World does that now. I haven't been to Manhattan in an age, so I don't know what's at the Southeast corner of Central Park now. 

I didn't get to Maryland until my teens, but I had family in the Bronx, in this case my grandparents. Until I was maybe sixteen, almost all my Seders were there. Did your aunt and uncle have their living room furniture encased in plastic or did they not bother because there were no children in the house?

Comment by marilyn sands on June 15, 2016 at 2:02pm

Thanks Rosi!  I can understand at 4,5 or 6 - but 8 years old?  I don't think I was a klutz - maybe it was an eye stigmatism & the fact I hadn't been to a beach much before & so excited to see such a view - but I'm very sure my Aunt did not tell my parents of this - our little secret.    

Comment by marilyn sands on June 15, 2016 at 2:10pm

Thanks kosh!  No, my Aunt did not have furniture covered in plastic - they lived on the edge!

Lots of stories of my stay with them as they had a Rexall Drug Store in Riverdale in the Bronx & at age 14, sold cigarettes for one summer for the morning rush crowd & I wrote a funny article about it on opensalon - I'll  have to bring it back.


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