God Asked Me What Happened to Mary Jane?

It was a Thursday, so I was leaving St Mary’s after choir practice. I wanted to rush home and get to bed. I was making my way to my car when God tapped my shoulder.

No one else was around - I was the last one to leave. At the end of rehearsal, the choir director and I had been chatting about what to do about our choir men. There are 5 of them on paper but one is a no-show, another has almost no voice and the third is a vocal train wreck.
Paul and I agreed that I should stand next to Scott (our reliable tenor), our voices blend together well and be hearing each other, we can stay on tempo and pitch. If I stand next to Mark (the terrible singer) not only does he make me lose track of where I am in a piece, but one day I am liable to hit him.

Yes, he makes me that angry.

So I was alone and about to get into my car, when an elderly bearded man showed up. Usually God is in street garb when he comes by, but this time he was dressed like… God!

“So how did Mary Jane become such a big conservative?” (MJ is my sisters, 3 years younger.)

I said, “You tell me, you’re God after all.”

“She’s a Trump supporter.” God opened up. “She includes him in her nightly prayers - that and a prayer to lower taxes. She also prays for Patty’s wedding to go well.”

“Are you and Monta going?”

“Yes.” I said, “I love Patty and I like the guy she’s marrying. But I thought you knew all this?”

God admitted he does, but that his questions were rhetorical.

“So what is your point?”

God opened up, “I am tired of folks taking about the Trump voter as a poor working class guy who had no options with either party. Some may be hard up, but many are successful, like Mary Jane. She married a rich kid and though he had to work, they always had the cushion of wealth.”

“There are lot of them. Morris County is full of them. Business owners, teachers, cops, all doing well, some with government pensions. Yet with the desperate feeling that Trump was their last resort.”

“You Americans think it is always about you. You owned the world after WW2. Did you think Japan and Germany would not take some of it back? Or that China would not compete with you? In the middle ages, they were the richest nation on earth.”

“And how about the Russians? Did you think they would never rise again.”

“It is not always about you.”

“I agree with Trump on one thing. It is time to focus on Americans. But he has it all wrong. He should support subsidized day care for all who earn less than $100k, and the public option for health care. Also he should expand medicaid in all states. But expanding the military budget is such nonsense. The generals want very expensive toys. Remember the Osprey - it was built to handle the sorts of water based invasions that yhe US made in WW2, but the US simply doesn't do that anymore. Nor can we afford the Gerald Ford Carrier. It is not finished yet. It was started in 2005. Do you know how many carriers the US built from 1942-1945? The US expects to complete on 10 in the Ford class by 2040. By 2040!”

“I gave your nation good land, water, lots of raw material, and protected you with 2 oceans, you have hit a rough patch but it was your own doing. It started with Reagan and now it promises to get worse.”

“The saddest thing is that many who are doing just fine are so greedy. You pretend to pray to Jesus, but I speak to him all the time. He refuses to hear your prayers.”

I finally spoke up, “Sorry God but I gotta run. You know I get up at 4:30?”

“Yes, I do. Sorry, I just got carried away. You folks want to speak to God, but who can I speak to?

Views: 70

Comment by JMac1949 Today on March 19, 2017 at 7:16am


Comment by Foolish Monkey on March 19, 2017 at 7:53am

I like that ending - you want to speak to god but who does god get to speak to?  maybe s/he should conjure up a solidly good therapist.  EVERYone should have a therapist - one would think - especially god!

Comment by koshersalaami on March 19, 2017 at 8:18am

God apparently speaks to Terry

Comment by Terry McKenna on March 19, 2017 at 9:09am

He is a cranky old man, so need to speak to one of his own.


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