Georgian Neo-Nazis Throw Sausages at Vegans: A screening of the Adult Swim series Rick and Morty at the Kiwi vegan cafe in the country of Georgia was interrupted when a group of neo-fascist skinheads entered and began throwing grilled meat, fish and sausages inside. Good grief, I believe that was about the wurst story I’ve ever read. What was their beef with the vegans anyway? Didn’t anyone bother to tell these neo-Nazis that Hitler was a vegetarian? Meanwhile, at the scene of the crime, witnesses were being grilled by the police. Sure hope these two factions can reconcile - always nice to see a meating of minds.
Elderly Couple Escorted Off Cruise Ship: An 84-year-old woman and her 90-year-old husband were escorted off the cruise ship Seabourn Sojourn after the woman refused to attend the mandatory safety class that is held at the start of every voyage. The woman said she didn’t bother attending because she just assumed they were safe sex classes.
Orioles Catcher Caleb Joseph Suffers Testicular Injury: The Baltimore Orioles have placed catcher Caleb Joseph on the disabled list after suffering a serious testicular injury as a result of a foul ball. Wow, that’s just nuts - it was a “foul ball” indeed. Sounds to me like it must have been a “breaking ball.” The count was 1 ball and 2 strikes. The poor guy’s gotta be thinking, “perhaps a 9-5 office job doesn't sound so bad after all.” And yes, this is the one time when you’re allowed to cry in baseball.