This is just a rant. You've been warned...

A year and half ago my ex husband died. It was sudden and tragic, he was just 52. He died from cancer. 10 days from diagnosis to death. My kids loved their father and he loved them dearly, always wanted the best for them. 

Enter the second ex wife. A harpy who's dumber than a box of rocks. Her name is Pam. My ex was a trusting soul and didn't see her as the despicable bitch she is until it was too late. Unfortunately there was one not so small detail that slipped past him after he divorced her, that was changing the beneficiary on a significant life insurance policy back to his kids (yes the harpy bitch had convinced him to put her on as a beneficiary, removing his beloved children). 

In his defense, he had tried to change the beneficiary on this policy and thought he was successful, but he wasn't. Walt had suffered a closed head injury in 2006 that affected his cognitive ability significantly. He was lost without his post it notes, literally. 

After his death, we found out about the error. Pam had no clue, oh she knew he had died, but I'm sure she assumed he'd removed her from every aspect of his life. So we hired a lawyer who felt we had enough evidence to potentially win a suit against her and claim the insurance money. Well yesterday we settled in mediation for 1/2. She was pissed she didn't get the entire amount. I wanted to take her to court, see her lose. I was in this thing for justice, other than getting paid back for the costs I've incurred, I will not benefit financially. My job was to spearhead this quest for justice. My kids are content with the outcome, so why am I having so much trouble accepting this? 

Views: 197

Comment by Steve S on June 5, 2013 at 7:55am

You are not alone.

Worked in a Life Ins Co in the 1980s, reviewed all the "unusual" settlements (court mandated for the most part) involving life ins benefits. Probably looked at 10 a week or so.

Hope the legal fees didn't take too much.

Comment by alsoknownas on June 5, 2013 at 7:58am

It's a stick in the craw thing Jenny.

Dad got taken in too. I got zip.

Comment by Jenny on June 5, 2013 at 8:18am

Thanks Steve and aka. I think I was too wrapped up in it. The pay out will be enough to fund college for another year for my son, further help defray funeral expenses, allow my daughter to have a real wedding (and wear that dam dress I bought her 2 years ago), etc. Our lawyer worked on a contingency of 33%.  I now have some new information about a loan the second ex defaulted on. It's probably been written off but his family wants me to see if this mortgage company couldn't somehow snag this money before it gets into her hot little hands. I'm still feeling vengeful, so I'll make a few calls but really I need to let it go and let Karma do her thing. 

Comment by JMac1949 Today on June 5, 2013 at 8:26am

Sometimes justice is a wish unfulfilled... and very often the outcome in court has much more to do with contract law or how evidence is obtained, verified and admitted rather than justice.  Mediation is almost always less expensive and less painful than a trial in open court.  If you'd had the bad luck to draw the wrong judge and he/she chose not to admit your evidence, your children's suit might have been dismissed out of hand in a pretrial hearing.  I deeply understand how you feel; but if your kids are okay with the mediation ruling, I'd just let it be.

Comment by Jenny on June 5, 2013 at 8:32am

I'm trying jmac. The judge was the wild card, a new judge and barely 30 years old. We had a great lawyer who was willing to pursue this as long as necessary and I'm grateful for this. It was the best outcome under the circumstances. 

Comment by Zanelle on June 5, 2013 at 5:53pm

Sounds like you did as much as you could and it is now time to let it go.  Karma.  Lots of karma in this situation.  Sit back and watch.

Comment by Kathy Knechtges on June 5, 2013 at 8:13pm

you have a lot of anger toward this person, but it is also affecting you, you might feel better to just go on with your life; no matter what you do you are not going to change her

Comment by Jenny on June 5, 2013 at 8:36pm

I am Zanelle, I was visualizing last night, it was almost working for me. I've never held a grudge in my life, but nobody messes with my kids without feeling some well deserved wrath. 

Actually Kathy, like I said at the beginning of the post, this is a rant, not how I live my life. I was letting it out. There was no way I would have allowed this woman to claim $94,000 without a fight. I have no problem leading the charge when it comes to something like this, but now this has come to a conclusion, no one is happy including my 2 ex sister in laws, my ex MIL, no one on my ex husbands side of the family liked this woman. We presented a united front against this woman. She took years off the life of a good man, she should pay in some sort of way, karmic or otherwise. This is a very nuanced story that has unfolded over a long period of time reduced to a few paragraphs on a page. 

Comment by Leray on June 5, 2013 at 9:14pm

the rant will make you feel better cuz the emotions are unleashed

 To add to JMac's music choice, put Ray Lamontagne's "Be Here Now" on your playlist...  ~peace

Comment by Arthur James on June 6, 2013 at 3:48am


Deceased author` Jean Knudson Hoffman -

She sent me a book titled ` Forgiveness -

I miss Humans who Graced this Earth -

She invited me to ` Casa de' Maria -

It's near deceased ` Michael Jackson's

Ranch - Sigh - I heard his daughter -

She tried t commit suicide yesterday -


It's 'Cheerio' Breakfast Time - Blessed



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