Forensic Scientists Claim Jack the Ripper Identified by DNA

Forensic Scientists Claim Jack the Ripper Identified by DNA:  Researchers say they’ve used DNA to finally unmask Jack the Ripper, the infamous serial killer who terrorized London in the late 1800s - identifying the killer as Aaron Kosminski, a 23-year-old Polish immigrant barber.  Well, it’s about time!  Perhaps now, Londoners can finally get themselves a good night’s sleep again.  I suppose one could even say that Mr. Kosminski operated the world’s first “Supercuts.”  Unfortunately, Kosminski’s “Supercuts” seemed to be more focused on cutting the neck than cutting the hair.

 

https://www.johnnyrobishcomedy.com

Trump Exaggerated Wealth to Get $2Bn in Loans From Deutsche Bank:  A new report found that Donald Trump repeatedly exaggerated his wealth to secure huge loans of $2 billion from Germany’s Deutsche Bank, even after bankruptcies and defaults led to him to be “deemed untouchable” by other credible financial institutions.  Wow, and to think all I ever got from my bank was a lousy toaster.  That said, Trump’s dire financial situation has left investigators wondering if Russia’s money laundering ties to Deutsche Bank may have had a hand in securing him the loans.  Well, I’m gonna jump out on a limb here and say “you’re darned Putin they did.”

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Comment by alsoknownas on March 20, 2019 at 7:37am

All in good pun.

Comment by Rodney Roe on March 20, 2019 at 8:12am

One account of Trump's exaggeration of his wealth said he claimed to be worth ~$3billion.  Individuals who went over his assets said it was closer to $880 million.  A billion here, a billion there...  As someone said about Michael Cohen, "He lies about his lies."  In all fairness - and I'm not sure why we should feel the need except that sets us apart form gangstas - really wealthy people have shifting levels of assets and liabilities because of their business dealings.  Still, I imagine that I would know if I had lost a couple of billion dollars. When the Dow lost 20% of its value in one day in 1987 someone asked Sam Walton how much money he had lost.  He was puzzled and then when he was told about the Dow re responded, "That's just a loss on paper."

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