It seemed easy and perfect, because his name flowed so easily to Jem.

I can't write a proper piece, because I am sadder than I would have guessed - I rarely see death as terribly sad, because Heaven is so awesome.  If you believe 100% in Heaven, and I do, then you can't usually cry for the person who gets to go there.

But James did not get enough time to be joyous with Margaret and her children yet, and I am really mad at God, even tho I know he didn't do it, I just don't understand why this should be.

And why, why, just like with Scanner, did someone who made SO MANY of us feel special, be the one to go?

I thought *I* was Scanner's special person - no, turns out EVERYone was, and that just made me love him more, learning that.

And Jem, I thought I was HIS special person too, because *I* was the one he told, secretly, when he and Margaret were keeping company and getting serious.  Turns out, we see on here, that he secretly told practically everyone, because he was so so happy, and had to share it with everyone.  That makes me smile every time I think of it.

I will miss you my friend, and I will be glad to sing along to some Bob Dylan with you, when it's my turn up in Heaven.

Please tell Scanner I said hi.


Views: 309

Comment by JMac1949 Today on January 19, 2016 at 5:58pm

"...Turns out, we see on here, that he secretly told practically everyone..."  Thanks for that observation... it's the first time I've laughed out loud since Friday.  BTW, Here's a link to JEM's Obituary:

Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on January 19, 2016 at 6:29pm


Comment by DaisyJane on January 19, 2016 at 6:48pm

I did not see the obituary before I wrote this.  Are they POSITIVE it was suicide, because I thought maybe he had another episode of syncope, as he wrote about on here last year.

I don't know what to say.

I am beyond sorry.

Comment by Zanelle on January 19, 2016 at 6:55pm

DaisyJane, it is so sad.  I am moping around here and now with the certainty of suicide thrown in my mind really has no where to go.  Hugs to you and all Jem's special friends.

Comment by DaisyJane on January 19, 2016 at 7:11pm

Thanks, everyone.  I am sorry I am having a hard time accepting it.  I probably have my own reasons for that.  

Comment by clay ball on January 19, 2016 at 10:19pm

That's a good name, DaisyJane.  He was a gem, for sure.

Comment by koshersalaami on January 19, 2016 at 10:29pm
Margaret says it is but didn't go into detail and I wasn't about to ask. However, there are a few signs pointing in that direction.

He was struggling with a very bad depressive episode, which he mentioned to a friend here a few days before he died - that's why he hadn't been around lately and had not answered PM's. The accident happened in the middle of the day with no inclement weather, involved no alcohol and he wasn't wearing a seatbelt. No passengers, no other cars involved. James had his license revoked in Connecticut (he talked openly about everything - that was James); I don't remember hearing if he was able to get one in Ohio but it's possible I heard and forgot. I don't know how the police definitively concluded suicide.
Comment by nerd cred on January 19, 2016 at 11:01pm

I thought of suicide just from the picture. As you said, kosh - good weather, didn't look like the road would have been icy and there was that big tree sitting right there in the open. Like a target. Seems like to hit it you'd have to want to.

Comment by Rodney Roe on January 21, 2016 at 6:41am

I was moving a book from the Amazon Cloud to my Kindle when I ran across, "Poems by William Blake."  Want to guess why I have that book?  Somehow, and I know that it is totally irrational, I feel like I, personally, failed him.  I imagine a lot of us feel that way.

Comment by alsoknownas on January 21, 2016 at 7:30am




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