FBI Finds 3,178 Embalmed Human Penises in Mortician’s Home

FBI Finds 3,178 Embalmed Human Penises in Mortician’s Home:  After receiving reports of missing organs and body parts, FBI agents raided the residence of a Houston mortician, and were astonished to find 3,178 embalmed human penises.  All I can say is, I don’t care if she has served all her time, it’s NEVER a good idea to allow Lorena Bobbitt to work in a morgue.  Now the big question is, will any of this evidence stand up in court?


Trump Adviser Thinks Americans Can Buy a New Car for $1000:  Former Goldman Sachs president and Trump chief economic adviser Gary Cohn claims the typical family who earns $100,000 per year, can expect annual tax savings of approximately $1,000 under the President’s new tax reform plan, which they can use to renovate their kitchen or else buy themselves a new car.  And of course Cohn’s absolutely correct - assuming the Trump Administration can somehow manage to take us back to that era where they all psychologically reside - the glorious 1950’s.


Scientists Discovered New Species of Giant Rat:  Scientists, working in the Solomon Islands, have discovered a new species of giant rat - one with teeth so sharp, it can crack a coconut shell.  So, they’ve discovered a new species of giant rat with extremely sharp teeth?  Good grief, after months of nothing but political scandals, earthquakes and hurricane devastation, thank goodness there’s finally some good news.

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Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on September 29, 2017 at 4:42am

Who doesn't collect penises?


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