Not eating for a complete day is a challenge. I have never been able to do
it. Oh, maybe there was one day in my college years when I tried it and I
vaguely remember liking it but I haven't been able to do it since then.
Something tells me it is a holy thing.
Gluttony is a sin. The Tibetan wheel of life has a section on what happens to people who eat too much and it shows them with distended stomachs so that they crave food but can't digest it. That is the Hell I find myself in.. Fasting might help but it takes a spiritual strength I have to find.
I think I associate fasting with starvation. I found the photos of Sebastião Salgado last night and his view of humanity stirred something inside me. He gets right into the most primitive groups and records the joy and terror of them. His views of people starving were really powerful. Skin and bones. Maybe part of me relates to the holocaust too and those visions of starvation in the camps. I don't want to be skin and bones. I am afraid of being empty.
However there is a pure feeling when your body is like a hollow reed. The air comes in and out like through a flute. The river of life flows through our bodies. Sometimes it seems that I can put food in my mouth and I forget that it has to travel all the way inside and through me. It is just a mouth and mind thing at first. Each bite has a journey to take.
I have lost some teeth. That makes digestion more difficult. Don't 'they' say you should chew each bite twenty five times. And water. We can live without food but we need to drink water. I helped a lady die who couldn't swallow anymore. There was nothing we could do and she was 99 so the doctors said just let her go. It took ten days. Ten sorrowful days. I wonder how I will die? Probably pop from gluttony.
Fasting. Moses fasted on the mountain before he saw the burning bush. Tibetians go into small caves and fast until they see visions that teach them things. It can be a good thing. What am I so afraid of? Not doing somethng because of fear is never good. That is usually a sign that it is something you should explore.
Time for my tea and toast. Maybe I will just stick to moderation. That is a holy thing too.