Dear Fruit of my Loins Disappointment,
What were you thinking? You call yourself a Drumpf?
Didn't you get the Memo - we don't even like Russian Dressing!
Frankly, your lying is lousy - don't you remember Time-Out?
I don't even know if you're really mine - our milkman had your eyes - so Eric is now #1 Son - Tiffany stays in place!
And, not only have I stripped you of Junior - your name is now Steve!
I'm not distancing myself - I'm disowning you for telling the truth. How many times have I told you - a lie will set you free!
I have to let you go - how would it look? Consider yourself a-relative-once-removed & turn in your wallet, gold watch & the first 4 ingredients of our secret recipe for Chocolate Cake!
I brought you into this world & the FBI can take you out! Don't worry - you look good in stripes!
Me? I'm in the clear - I wasn't aware of anything in my administration!
I told you I was smart!
Pfft! I didn't even know it was Priebus who was the leaker!
See, that proves it!
But, you may be my downfall & where will I end up in the History Books - an asterisk?
I wanted you to be my 'John Quincy' - but it ends with me & I'll just become another locker room joke.
P.S. Thanks - I'll be looking out for 'Little Vlad' from FedEx!