Donald Trump, Jr.
"When did you realize that Donald Trump was your father"?
I was 5 & he sank my boats in the bathtub.
"Have you wanted to get back at him ever since"?
"Have you ever been to Russia"?
Shines light in Don's eyes.
Is given Indian Burn.
"You mean 3 times"?
"What was your business in Russia"?
That building looked just like Disneyland.
This is fun, what am I - bobbing for apples?
"Wasn't it for the Miss Universe Contest"?
Nope, opening Laundromats.
Let me down!
"Which is it - Disneyland or Laundromats"?
You can't break me, I just ate a Trump Steak!
Water trickles down Don's face.
"How many kids did you adopt"?
Not me - I don't have any trouble performing.
Am I in a Barrel - there's an echo!
"Then who adopted all these Russian children"?
"100 Bottles of Beer on the wall" plays ad nauseum.
Okay, okay - Pam in Accounting, George in Acquisitions, Murph in...
"So 'adoption' isn't a code word for 'Hillary's Fitness'?
How would I know if she has a Gold's Gym card or not.
Are those Bees?
"Who is Natalia Veselnitskaya"?
That's a funny name - buy a vowel.
Sound of a Dentist's drill.
"Who is she"?
Okay, she was supposed to win "Miss Russia" but Pop found a Blini in her Bra!
Now, I really won't tell!
"It's your last chance - we already know everything"!
Sound of paper money being counted.
Okay - my father planned the whole Russia thing, has the Lindbergh Baby & whacked Jimmy Hoffa, alright?
"Let him go, he's clean - now get the dumb one"!