The Family Discusses Death
Husband (And), Son (Noah) and I had a little chat last week.
Since Tom Cordle added his thoughts on death in his last post, thought I'd share our latest on the topic.
I told the kids that when I die I want to be cremated and then to have a handful of my ashes tossed into the offices of the Moral Majority, the Christian Coalition, Focus on the Family and the Family Research Council. If there is any left over that is to go airborne over the Jack Daniels factory so that the rednecks have to enjoy a little bit of me too.
I'm trying to picture Amy spending eternity with the Moral Majority, the Christian Coalition, Focus on the Family and the Family Research Council. I wonder if that would be Hell because of what she'd have to listen to or Heaven because of how much fun she'd have haunting them.
It's a great text thread.
I don't believe in expensive elaborate funerals either. I was a pallbearer at my brother in law's funeral many years ago and he was in a plain pine box. This was so plain I admired its plainness. A straight rectangle. I don't remember if it was plywood. Nothing polished or finished about it, just a wooden box. The very best detail about it was that the edge of the top I was carrying had a small word written on it in Sharpie. It said
I'm not sure. if by some fluke we become fabulously idiotically wealthy, sure! go hog wild. spread my ashes all over the place but only after stuffing me and posing me in full western regalia (maybe wearing those gorgeous leather riding culottes) on a stuffed rented horse and having a big drunken party around me. (surely there's another stuffed horse somewhere besides trigger, but don't get me wrong - I'm okay with trigger!)
or even better being filthy rich, they can have a sculpture done of me riding off into the sunset, naked as a jaybird and place my raggedy old dead self in a mausoleum and then the family can come visit and have picnics on mothers day and bring flowers and leave little pebbles and all that nice stuff.
btw, sky death is very messy. upon impact you sort of blow up. especially if you land on your head. ew.
Now I'm trying to picture FM spending eternity in assless chaps. I wonder if that would be Hell because her thighs hurt from being on a stupid horse that long or Heaven because of how much fun she'd have when the saddle rubbed he just right.
no not chaps you insane degenerate. culottes are what fancy wimmin riders used to wear in the olden days, with sexy silk shirts and big fedoras.
HEY! It is MY fantasy and if I want you in assless chaps that is going to be what you are going to wear dammit! wear leather culottes in your own damn fantasy!
Thanks for the laugh this morning.
One of those rushing around days where I keep banging my head on sharp corners unexpectedly and cursing and getting in worse mood while trying to make things 'happy' for the grandgirls headed over.
We will decorate the tree and make cookies and hand made velvet pillows for parents stitched with embroidery thread...... and if *any* of this actually happens I will SING.
Life is good. Repeat.
she is SUCH a slut.
I just replied to Kosher on my own post that the last place I'd want to spend eternity is surrounded by people like Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Mike Pence, et al. My dream of "what a way to go" is to have a massive heart attack and fall off my stool while playing my guitar. Now that's a dream that just might come true!
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