Deadly New Venomous Snake Discovered in Australia: In a chance discovery, a team of biologists were returning from a sea snake research mission in Queensland, Australia when they discovered a deadly new venomous species of snake. Gee, I’m blown away! I mean, what are the odds of finding some sort of deadly serpent in a place like Australia? Ironically, President Trump has already heaping praise on the snake and is reportedly trying to organize a summit between the snake, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un and himself.
Hunter-Gathers Were Baking 4,000 Years Before Birth of Farming: After digging up pieces from the world’s oldest loaf of bread, Archaeologists claim they now have evidence that hunter-gatherers were baking bread thousands of years before the birth of farming. Yea, but you can just bet there is gonna be someone in the group complaining about the bread because they’re gluten-free.
New Mexico Woman Claims Medical License for Meth: A woman in New Mexico who violated her probation by testing positive for methamphetamine, told police that she had a medical license for the meth. Well then, assuming that her “meth license” is for a medical condition, allow me to be the first to wish her a very “speedy” recovery.