Cruz Alleges Trump’s Tax Returns Might Show Mafia Ties: Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz suggested to ABC News that rival Donald Trump may be reluctant to release his tax returns because he my be doing business with the mob. Now I have no idea if Trump has any Mafia ties, but I seriously doubt its something that would show up on his tax returns. In related news, a mob spokesperson denied the charges, telling reporters “dare ain’t no such ting as a Mafia, so fuhgeddabouddit.”
NFL Investigates Player Use of Deer Antler Extract: Its being reported that some NFL players may be attempting to circumvent performance-enhancing substance prohibitions by using the supplement “deer antler extract.” Those familiar with the supplement say the only known side effect of deer antlers is they may make you “horny.”
Trump Draws Criticism Over David Duke Endorsement: Republican front-runner Donald Trump drew sharp criticism from his rivals in both parties after initially refusing to denounce an endorsement from former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke, who told listeners to his radio show that ‘voting against Donald Trump is treason to your heritage.” Yea, well I guess that would more or less depend upon how much trailer parks are part of your heritage.