Claire's Pulls 17 Makeup Products Over Asbestos

Claire's Pulls 17 Makeup Products Over Asbestos:  National retailer Claire’s has yanked 17 products in a makeup kit after a diligent mom who bought them for her 6-year-old daughter - had them tested and discovered they contained asbestos.  On a positive note, a child wearing this makeup should be well protected in the event of a house fire.

Apple's Board Insisting CEO Tim Cook Fly Private Jets:  Apple's board of directors is now making CEO Tim Cook fly on private aircraft when he travels, whether it's for work or pleasure - claiming it’s in the interest of security and efficiency.  Well, at least now the poor guy won’t be bothered by some jerk sitting next to him and talking too loud on their iPhone.  On the downside, I’ll bet his baggage and carry-on fees probably went up.  Lucky Apple had a pretty good year - those baggage fees are getting almost as steep as Apple products.

Woman Stabs Husband With a Ceramic Squirrel:  A South Carolina woman is under arrest for stabbing her common-law husband in the chest with a ceramic squirrel after he returned home without any beer on Christmas Eve.  All can say is - this guy’s damn lucky the squirrel didn't go for his nuts!

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Comment by koshersalaami on December 28, 2017 at 6:48am

The squirrel incident is three years old

Comment by Johnny Robish on December 28, 2017 at 8:38am

I know, I couldn't fond any other stories to write about and I had this story storied, so I wrote something about that.  Does it really matter?  These are just jokes - people can like them or dislike them.

Comment by koshersalaami on December 28, 2017 at 8:53am

I don't know. Probably not. I only know it's old because I looked it up to get more details. The details I found weren't the ones I wanted. 

Comment by Johnny Robish on December 28, 2017 at 8:57am

I store a lot of news stories that I consider have potential and when on those occasions, when it gets late and I need another story - I often just go down the list and find something that looks promising. 

Comment by koshersalaami on December 28, 2017 at 9:59am

Given how often you post, that makes sense. Keeping comedy that frequent fresh is almost impossible. 


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