Cardinals, Popes, Howard Stern and Rudy Giuiani: You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

A lot of holy water has been sprinkled over the faithful since the 2008 presidential campaign run of former NY Mayor Rudy Giuliani which earned him several snubs by Catholic hier... for his pro-choice views.  At that time, Cardinal William Keeler of Baltimore refused to share the Loyola Commencement stage with Giuliani because the former mayor is pro-choice. No one mentioned that the mayor—a former Catholic seminarian—was also twice divorced, a known philanderer (and publicly so) and prone to having shady colleagues some of whom were indicted and even jailed eventually. Instead, it was Giuliani’s support of women’s reproductive rights that bothered Catholic hierarchy like Keeler and other Catholic clergy who pounded Giuliani all those years ago.

To show how far they’ve come, however, New York’s popular Cardinal Timothy Dolan is—I heard today—going to be giving regular radio updates on the papal elections in Rome—direct from the conclave there.

 Where, you ask?

On Sirius satellite radio, the same place where XXX –rated Howard Stern daily rubs elbows--  and who knows what else-- with hookers, strippers, and libertines of every stripe. Sirius actually has a Catholic band as well as a Howard Stern band in its lineup.

When I heard this, I wondered if cable TV’s popular Mother Angelica might be hanging around with the Kardashians next?

I also read that the Pope-Emeritus has settled in at Castel Gandolfo with an extremely handsome aide—Archbishop George Ganswein, his private secretary—who is referred to as “gorgeous George” by those in the know in Rome. Apparently Benedict could leave behind all the trappings of the papacy—even his snappy red shoes—but he simply had to have “George” by his side. Stay tuned for more news on that relationship.

Maybe this papal election will actually be entertaining.  It is already obvious that you can’t make up stuff more amusing than the daily news reports coming out of Rome. Inquiring minds wonder if Cardinal Dolan will actually appear on Howard Stern’s show in some collegial promotional move by Sirius—perhaps with a topless hooker or two in on that segment for good measure.

Those who doubt this can even happen don’t know the world of broadcasting.


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