The most important thing in my life right now is waking up in the morning wanting to get out of bed. The second most important thing is to do the things that feed my soul once I get up upon my feet. The struggle I go through each day is balancing how other people see me with what I actually feel. Not so long ago I looked like death warmed over. That made it easier for other people around me to accept where I was. I look healthier now because I took control of my monkey brain. I gained my weight back because I learned how to adjust my diet. I have become functional again because I have accepted what is happening to me. I tolerate constant pain because I have separated myself from it, not because it has gone away. I very simply do not have the energy to struggle with the day to day fears and judgments others feel they must embrace. I depend on magic. I live in a magical world that keeps giving me miracles. Many of the people around me are part of that magic, whether they know it or not. Here is where I am because of the life I have lived and the struggles I have endured: I am not afraid of dying! That means I am not susceptible to blackmail. That means I will not be doing what the average person on the street might do in the same situation. So tomorrow morning I’m going to get up and do what feeds my soul. And I will continue to believe that there is some magical force in the universe that will give me another miracle to support me. For you see, I am not human, I am a butterfly! I have always been a butterfly!