Burger King Announces Antibiotic-Free Chicken for 2017: Fast-food chains Burger King and Tim Hortons announced that next year they will begin serving only chicken raised without the use of antibiotics. They really had no choice. Hell, when the Republicans get done with Obamacare - those chickens won’t be able to afford antibiotics anyway.
Prospective Buyer Finds Rotting Body in Detroit Home for Sale: A prospective buyer got more than they bargained for when they took a tour of a Detroit home that was up for sale and found a badly decomposed body inside a dust-covered car in the garage. Police say they’ll run tests to try and determine the sex, cause of death and who the individual may be. Alright, I’m gonna jump out on a limb here and guess its either Jimmy Hoffa or Amelia Earhart.
Russian Hackers Have Penetrated U.S. Electricity Grid: US officials are now warning that Russian hackers have penetrated the US electricity grid through a utility in Vermont. While most US officials expressed grave concern, Donald Trump used the incident as an opportunity to heap lavish praise on Vladimir Putin and his computer skills, adding that at some point - he may ask Putin if he’ll take a look at his laptop which has been running just a tad slow lately.