Note: this is a transcript of part of a recent chat conversation in the Opium Den. Names have been changed except for the ones that haven't.
I made a sculpture out of a german shepherd skull one time
Called it a Skullpture
Angie stole it
Well cashmere sweater are rather hoi tee
It was a german shepherds on a gooseneck lamp
So you could point it any direction u want
Had little blue LED lights in the eyesockets
Some of the teeth i replaced with brass and steel ones i fabricated on a bench grinder
There were colored wires and silicon chips hangin off it and twinin up the gooseneck
Looked evil as shit
She was a stewardess, I was just a bum.
Nah, Angie was a barmaid
When i met her
Then she stopped takin her meds
Reminds me of that song by the Human League
Mascot chess would prolly make a buck-a-rue
Remember when Angie and T___ was gonna murder each other?
Jeez that was close
Angie had that short sword?
Plenty long enough tho
And T___ bounced a cassette tape off Brian R____'s forehead from clean across the room!
Brian got out about 3 years ago
Did, i dunno, 15 years or some shit
12 at least
Square mirrors, port holes, singles bars, nutmeg,
You aint just whistlin Dixie
Gonna get me a IPA
SOME REDACTED STUFF
for N_____ , tho she's A__ really, or______ Nicole _______ as they call her at home
i should write about that shit
that and crazy tim
and everything in between
stories within stories within stories
Whats it been, 3 years?
3 and a half?
holy shit a lotta stuff has happened
Sitting here thinking about everything
its almost 4 years to the day that i flew back with Sirenita and Mark to SF after she was diagnosed
I was out there 4 months
Sirenita died in august
Then I came back to KCK
one of my first full days at the place in Strawberry Hill, its the middle of the afternoon and 110 degrees out
so im just sitting in front of the AC, trying to stay cool til sunset
and theres a knock at the door
its so hot the asphalt is melting out there and no one had knocked at my door at that place yet and in fact practically no one even knew i was there, so i'm thinkin, "who the hell could THAT be?"
Its in those sort of moments, those sort of decisions - should i answer the door or not - that some people see kismet or fate or luck or bad luck or whatever
Everything in my life would be drastically different right now if i hadn't answered that fucking door
I didnt HAVE to answer it
But i wanted to know what kind of crazy person could be knocking at my door at so weird of a time
Wanted to know WHY too
Not sure if i believe in fate as such
Or even luck, necessarily
Except luck as a synonym for random chance in a mechanistic universe
Schrodinger's Cat, etc
If there is a cat inside a box which is rigged so if you open it, it triggers a release of poison gas which kills the cat
If you dont open it, the cat is fine
But quantum physics tells us, with mathematical precision, that until one thing or the other happens or doesn't happen, the cat inside that box is simultaneously alive AND dead
As someone knocked on my door that afternoon on Strawberry Hill, I was Schrodinger's Cat
Simultaneously alive and dead there in my box and completely unobserved by any human being
Knock knock knockity knock
I keep hearing references to this cat. I want to know why. Is it because we are infinite until we make a choice?
Not infinite, no
I am , obviously, a layman when it comes to quantum physics, so I dunno
But i think the cat thing is more a function of
its that until that choice is made
Until the experiment is completed...
Every possibility is still
Which is an obvious thing, when viewed from a metaphysical standpoint
Its kind of startling, tho, to have such woo woo notions backed up by hard science
U R rite
Or at least, the possibilities we move within at any given moment are infinite
Turn left at the corner of 1st and Main, and the universe becomes one way
Or another list of infinite possibilities opens
Turn right and it becomes another, entirely different way
On that note, I'm off to sleep, perchance to have good dreams.
Substitute "state" for way in both sentences
State of being
way to travel
Good dreams, then
Many, many hours yet til i dream
But thank u
CAT? I know it as an uber expensive life saving GE machine. Let me consult Student. Rather round about. Gotta get through Moms 1st. Dad was lost in Mogadishu.
The Russians used a wombat
Doesnt roll off the tongue quite as smoothly
Jam on your brakes right in the middle of the intersection and someone rear ends you and the universe transitions into yet a third, entirely different state
Then Shirley McClaine shows up and asks you to fill out a questionnaire
Jack Welsh's old out fit just put on 220 jobs down on Opus Drive. Ultra sounds, front end preventive medicine. Now if Doctors could afford the debt. My congress folk has better benes than me.
Next thing you know you're storing your pee in plastic 2 liter soft drink bottles
BUNCHA REDACTED STUFF
hump a redwood again
Nature epic trip yr fuckin balls off flashin on the white light talkin to fuckin god for REALs hike
San Ho Zay?
Big Twang Theory. Alpha Centauri, in view. Course those ol' boys could tell me anything and I would just be another bobble-head. You know. dreaming of glory
Stars up the wazooo
In fir a penny, in 4 a pound
U need to redact the previous hours worth of commentary here
Not that any of it was anything but fictional
But redact it anyway goddammit
MDMA is your friend, people
Move along, nothin 2 C here
I answer the door
And theres this green-eyed Mexican chick standing there
And as I'm saying "Hello, can i help you?" shes moving on past me into my house
Saying stuff like, "So, you bought this place huh? Are you gonna live here or just fix it up and sell it? What does your wife think about it? Where IS your wife by the way? Arent you married? My name's B_____, pleased to meet you, what did you say your name was again?"
Before i know it we're standing in my kitchen as she's interrogatin me and i'm thinking, "Holy shit, this chick is a fucking COP, bigger than shit, i guaranTEE u this chick is a cop."
Wasnt no other reason for her to be there that i could think of
Not that i was doing anything wrong exactly
But you can never B 2 careful
I'm new to the neighborhood, no one around there, including the city guvmint, knew who the hell i was
So i figured this *B_____* was a undercover
Undercovers aint usually that hawt, but u never know
Then i started thinkin maybe she was from the gangbangers across the street
Semigangbangers, really, but i didnt know that yet
And the whole time she keeps on talkin
Began talkin bout herself, a little
Or, a lot
In that first 10 minutes of knowing her she told me, no, shes not Mexican, is half black half white, from _____
Went to high school out there, anyway
Said she and a friend of hers had recently been prostituting themselves at a flea bag motel not far away and they were visiting someone in the neighborhood that afternoon so she had been out panhandling up and down the street there and had seen my truck parked in front of my place
Said she didnt like how whoring herself had made her feel
I said, dont whore yourself then
Easy for ME to say, right?
But she stopped talking when i said that
Looked at me
Said, "So who are you?"
So i told her how i came to be there
Told her about Sirenita and I
Partway thru the story i looked over at her and saw she was crying
Not fake tears
B_____ was a good kid
I didnt know that yet, but i knew she wasnt making the tears up
They were real
For Sirenita, for herself and her friend over at that shitty motel, for me
I just wanted to be Schrodingers Cat
That was my plan, to the extent i had one
It's strange, how looking at that pic makes me feel the need to say "we only talked"
But that's all we did
She said her ride was getting ready to leave
Gave me her cellphone number
I gave her a Gatorade, half a burrito and $20
Told her not to whore herself anymore
Well, I didnt TELL her nothing of the sort
Wasnt my business
I strongly suggested it tho
Then she left
Then a lot of other weird shit happened and I forgot for over a month that i even had her phone number