You seem to have become bored by your own self,
the creation you've devised, right at your feet.
I don't exactly know where it came from,
but now, at exit, i see how it's crept in, underneath.
a certain shyness, or was it slyness? I knew in mis-Steps,
the very steps you did not take, all along.
you always have a way of passing edicts,
directing Others, so they never ask if anything is wrong.
it's a natural charm that you possess;
but at this point, i think you look at it askance.
it was always there, so why not rely on it?
after all, all that has been given you, has been by chance.
discluding others in relations can become an aberration
when what you present is what upon others feed.
it does you no good to try to appear put upon,
when what you give out is what you decide they need.
i only have my own perceptions of you,
From the things you said of yourself as we met.
and i've relied on you to live by them,
just as you gave me the same, to beget.
it's not easy for me to see you slowly implode,
or release, or relinquish, or deflate.
I only know I see it, and I've said it for too long,
and I cannot entice your fate.
I feel i've tried my best to invite you, back.
give out the same initiative i felt, in return.
but It always seems to cause some bristling in you;
You don't want to change, align with, or learn.
I Asked for so long, What Ever is wrong?;
I always saw the deep furrows on your brow.
but you'd always skirt it, so .. i chose not to hurt it;
so We Remained In The Same Puzzle, somehow.
to me, the answer was obvious,
when you choked Over Why You Remained Attracted To Me:
I always made things easy for you;
but When I met you, that was what you needed.
But the rift remains, and nothing has changed.
i have no idea why i'm such a challenge, balance, or truth.
i only see what has become of you,
more implosion, victimization, burden of proof.
i know what i feel, and it's tender.
but i can't cognize myself into a place
that you have surrendered to others,
my only question is why? what is gained?
I have my adages like - empower your self,
and do that by leading others on their own way.
but if you cannot see what is sought from you in the first place,
you'll just keep on being the doormat that you claim.
as an aside, i never thought you were attracted to me.
I always thought I reminded you of someone else.
but that never mattered, what mattered is that you appeared,
and you've given me all these things, to have felt.
I am not the editor of you; only me.
and i daresay it's all been timely, and fine.
and although i tried to hand the same back to you,
it was never in an effort to make you mine.
All I ever Wanted Was To Know You,
And I've Tried my Best To Be Friends.
But everyone seems to Want to take a bite of you,
and i just don't want to be one of them.
Graphic: "Dish It Up"
Pottery by Karen Howell