Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth: Silicon Valley titan and Trump supporter Peter Thiel, has reportedly invested $100,000 in a project which hopes to bring the extinct mammoth back to life. Makes sense. After all, the Trump administration is trying to escort us all back to the Middle Ages, so why stop there? May as well head right on back to the ice age while we’re at it. Sharpen your stone tools and I’ll get a fire started in the cave. Let’s make Pangaea great again! But I don’t think Peter Thiel has to bring back the Woolly Mammoth to make Trump people happy. Hell, I’m sure most Trump supporters would be quite content just to have their Member’s Only jackets come back in style again.
Alex Jones Claims NASA Operating Child Slave Colony on Mars: Just months after his tale about Hillary Clinton people running a child sex ring in the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizzeria sent a gunman there to shoot up the place, Republican alt-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is now busy peddling an even more outrageous theory about NASA operating a child slave colony on Mars. On a positive note - at least on Mars, those poor children won’t have to listen to nut cases like Alex Jones rambling on and on about absolute nonsense anymore.
Start-Up Wants to Send Your Remains Into Space: A start-up company says they will launch your cremated remains into low orbit which will circle the Earth for a few months before re-entry into the atmosphere and finally burn up in an awesome fireball, all for the low, low price of $1,990. Sounds like the perfect ending for my life - spend my last two grand to end up as a cheap fireworks display over suburban Cincinnati.