Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth

Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth:  Silicon Valley titan and Trump supporter Peter Thiel, has reportedly invested $100,000 in a project which hopes to bring the extinct mammoth back to life.  Makes sense.  After all, the Trump administration is trying to escort us all back to the Middle Ages, so why stop there?  May as well head right on back to the ice age while we’re at it.  Sharpen your stone tools and I’ll get a fire started in the cave.  Let’s make Pangaea great again!  But I don’t think Peter Thiel has to bring back the Woolly Mammoth to make Trump people happy.  Hell, I’m sure most Trump supporters would be quite content just to have their Member’s Only jackets come back in style again.

Alex Jones Claims NASA Operating Child Slave Colony on Mars:  Just months after his tale about Hillary Clinton people running a child sex ring in the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizzeria sent a gunman there to shoot up the place, Republican alt-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is now busy peddling an even more outrageous theory about NASA operating a child slave colony on Mars.  On a positive note - at least on Mars, those poor children won’t have to listen to nut cases like Alex Jones rambling on and on about absolute nonsense anymore.

Start-Up Wants to Send Your Remains Into Space:  A start-up company says they will launch your cremated remains into low orbit which will circle the Earth for a few months before re-entry into the atmosphere and finally burn up in an awesome fireball, all for the low, low price of $1,990.  Sounds like the perfect ending for my life - spend my last two grand to end up as a cheap fireworks display over suburban Cincinnati.

Views: 77

Comment by MV Neland on July 1, 2017 at 12:13am

Johnny, if they could spell out your name in sparklers as your remains re-entered orbit, it just might be worth it!

The idiot will bring back the poor beast and a few opportunistic bacterium. Is he smarter than a third grader? 

My first and nearly last exposure to Alex Jones was a YouTube video of him interviewing people as they drove their cars through the opening gates of a resort. They were apparently all secret members of the Illuminati. Waving. And, smiling. Into the camera. As they went into a public resort with hundreds of non-Illuminati also availing themselves of the cuisine, heated swimming pool, and golf links. In broad daylight. They looked like ordinary surprised rich people confronted by a madman with a microphone. I do think they were ordinary rich people wondering WTF. I think Alex was making his career move. After watching a few more, i figured he was CoInTelPro distraction. Maybe the Illuminati exist. Or, not anymore. Maybe, if they do, some are elite. But, if they do, they are religious, and not economic players. How we got from guardians of Christ's teachings to elitist wealthy rulers of Earth with a big plan is anybody's guess. Maybe it has something to do with the woolly mammoth. Seriously. We can ask him when they successfully make a clone of him. Next we'll be scraping the shroud of Turin for DNA once we find the real one that the Illuminati keep hung up in a secret crevice somewhere that only they they know about. Could be on Mars. People would do well to recall their Twilight Zone viewing. I'm pretty sure Mars is a penal colony where a criminal lives a solitary life with only a female android for company. Perhaps this sparked the rumors of child sex slaves. They somehow managed to have children. Might be related to that mammoth thing.

All kidding aside, I do believe much is a mystery to us, that power players do their level best to secretly rule the world from behind the curtains to avoid confrontation and responsibility, as they have always tried, successfully and not so much, that conspiracies abound, and that Alex Jones IS one of them.

Comment by Johnny Robish on July 1, 2017 at 12:46am

Loved your response my friend!

Comment by Julie Johnson on July 1, 2017 at 3:48am

MV, me too! 

Comment by koshersalaami on July 1, 2017 at 5:02am

 I'm wondering if they're thinking of replacing the GOP  elephant with its hairier cousin.

Comment by Steel Breeze on July 1, 2017 at 5:13am

a 100 grand??? lucky ta get a plastic one for that..

Comment by J.P. Hart on July 1, 2017 at 6:20am

I minds well leave my mohair suit in the drycleaners, Johnny - maybe reconnect with that CBOT liaison gal and see if one can 'short' ivory on a future contract-maybe configure a hedgy 'long' on a couple-three skids of WOOLLITE. . .

And let's keep a sharp eye out for Duluth Trading Co.'s line of 'Dostoyevskian (EvahWarm) 100-Year Mammoth Coats' . . .

Comment by Johnny Robish on July 1, 2017 at 7:43am

Hee!  Thanks guys!

Comment by MV Neland on July 2, 2017 at 1:20pm

Koshersalaami - too true. The Retro Party. Ironically, it would be climate destabilization that decimates the Republican mascot once again.

Johnny, please keep the wit coming. We might get sane in time to see Trump impeached and not a few R's lose their seats.

Comment by Johnny Robish on July 2, 2017 at 1:36pm

One can only hope my friend!

Comment by Johnny Robish on July 2, 2017 at 3:58pm

I saw one the other day.  Guess I'd better lay off the Short Dog Wine for a while.


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