But enough about me!
First of all; my eyesight is going & that was one excuse.
When I really have to go - I don't care if it's in front of Tiffany's - I've been know to...
...well, it's all in the Affadavid.
I know, I know - that's my lawyer's name!
Who exactly is against women standing at urinals waiting to sit in it - or wash out a few Deplorables - I mean unmentionables!
And, who exactly is against men who can help us if the Tampax machine keeps our dollar & needs a bang or two?
Oh sure, they'll be the lone wolf-budding prevert getting his jollies; but no matter how old we are - we females know how to take care of him...
...lock him in the stall - light a match (just for the panic smell) & pull the Fire Alarm!
Who's reporting all the fuss - the Bathroom Attendants with Code Names like "2 Ply" & "Holy Sh_ _"?
And, how many of these cases are we talking about anyway - Trump Inauguration Crowd Numbers or the number of sex partners I had this week?
Don't answer that!
Okay, I just looked it up - Gallup Poll estimates 150,000 Trans Identity teens in the U.S. - the largest in California, Texas, New York & Florida.
The smallest North Dakota, Vermont & Wyoming. No problem there; I heard Wyoming only has 1 Bathroom!
Send your cards & letters to - it'sonlyajoke@pencil trump in the history books
I believe no matter what's in their pants - persons dressed as females are not going to whip out anything to scare little boys & persons dressed as males aren't going to flash their Muffin Tops to scare little girls.
What's the big deal; we already have "Family" Bathrooms that I don't dare enter.
If I wanted to hear wet crying babies & tethered toddlers begging for Cinnabons; I'd go to a Weight Watchers meeting!
As far as Transgender students having a safe environment when they're doing their business (and it is their business)... G-d made us all; in various shades & flavors - but while he made Adam & Eve & Steve - he also made (please don't call me) Surely!
But, who wants to walk in their shoes - not me!
So whether it's a pair of Florsheim or 4 inch Bruno Maglis - give the gal/pal (don't call me Whatzit) a break!
So for now, guys - if you ever see me racing into your John - get the hell out of the way or watch your shoes!
Whether it becomes Federal or States Rights - let's hope they rule on the side of compassion.
I'm happy to say - this article can also be found in Humor Times Magazine - but you get better pics.