Bad joke I heard on Fixer Upper tonight

If you're Russian when you go into the bathroom and Finnish when you come out, what are you while you're in there?


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European

Views: 3793

Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on March 8, 2017 at 6:26am

ENHANCES MY DAY :)

Comment by JMac1949 Today on March 8, 2017 at 8:23am

R&L Updated variation on an old Finnish/USSR joke:  A rabbit sitting in the snow on the Finnish side of the border spots a furry dot running from the east and when that rabbit from Russia suddenly dashes past him in a white flurry, he turns to give chase.  Running after it for nearly a kilometer the Finnish rabbit asks, where are you running in such a hurry?  The Russian rabbit breathlessly replies, Finland.

You're in Finland. We're over a kilometer inside of Finland.

Oh thanks be to God, gasped the Russian rabbit as he collapsed in the snow.

Why are you running out of Russia?

Putin has ordered the death of all camels in the USSR!

But you're a rabbit, not a camel.

True, but the FSB isn't asking any questions.

Comment by Drew-Silla on March 8, 2017 at 9:52am

So it's acceptable now to mock Finnish people? Thank goodness!  It's been rough the past decade or two, what with poor whites being the only ethnic group it's still politically correct to make fun of.  That was OK for a while, I guess, but there are only so many inbreeding jokes out there.

Q: How do you spot an extrovertd Finn? A: While talking to you, he stares at your feet instead of his own.

I didn't make that one up, but I'm working on my own personalized Finnish joke right now.  Ooo, wait, I think I have it - A couple Swedes are driving along one day in a pick-up truck when they see a Finnish hitchhiker. They stop and ask where he's heading to and he says Uppsala, and since they're going that way the driver tells him, "Hop in, but there's no room in the cab so you'll have to ride in back."  The Finn hops in and a couple hours later, while crossing the Fyris river, the driver loses control of his vehicle on the iced over bridge and the pick-up crashes through the guard rail and splashes right into the icy river. After some panicky struggling, the driver and his passenger manage to get their doors open and clamber to shore through the frigid but thankfully fairly shallow water. As they climb, shivering, up on to the bank, the driver turns to look back at the river where bubbles are still rising from the spot where his submerged pick-up is. "Wait a minute," he exclaims, "where is our Finnish hitchhiker?"  The passenger just shakes his head glumly and says, "I'm sorry, Sven, but he drowned - the poor fellow couldn't get the tail-gate down in time."

Comment by koshersalaami on March 8, 2017 at 10:38am

We used to have a resident Finn here. Now that he hasn't been around, we can all start with the Finnish jokes. 

I am beyond impressed that you actually knew one. 

Comment by Myriad on March 8, 2017 at 11:26am

I know a Finn-by-immigration, at least.  He's a trans guy whose wife got some kind of job there.  He spends his days making swords.  And complaining about Finnish bureaucracy (apparently you need some permits and stuff to set up a sword-making workshop). ## What's fascinating about Finns is their fascination with Argentinian tango...  I guess it's a way to dance while looking at your partner's feet.  I wouldn't make a good Finn - the one time I tried to learn to tango I got chased off the stage as a hazard to everyone else...  The tango teachers were a couple in their mid-80s whose lives were full of controversy and weirdness, such that teaching tango at a Pagan festival was but a blip. 

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