Asteroid Passes Close to Earth Just Hours After Being Discovered: An asteroid estimated to be at least 150 feet in diameter made an alarmingly close pass to Earth, just hours after it was first observed by astronomers. After the news broke, people across the globe immediately demanded to know why Morgan Freeman didn’t bother to make some sort of announcement. Meanwhile, Trump advisors say should it come too close, they’ll send up a rocket full of Preparation H and shrink it down to 75 feet.
Study Shows Poverty Rate in Hawaii is Growing: A new study found that the number of people living in poverty in the state of Hawaii has grown to 12.5%. Researchers say things in the state have gotten so bad, many residents have no idea where their next tan is coming from.
NY Man Sets Woman On Fire in Elevator: Police say a man has confessed to killing a woman by dowsing her with a flammable liquid and then setting her on fire in a Brooklyn elevator. As his defense, the man claimed that the elevator was extremely cold and she was the only thing around that looked like it would burn.