ASKING

i'm no longer frightened by frightening people.

i only know now that i too was frightened, in exchange.

and i know a time came that this was about me,

and that now, some sibilance between these eras has changed.

the shadow of grief, and disbelief,

is what i learned to not fear, and balance.

nothing can go further than the depths you perceive;

but suppositions also come to light by challenge.

i only know because it happened to, and within me,

so i embrace the dichotomy that furthers me on.

wee glimpses of regrets gone, and forgetfulnesses reborn,

by what Life brings to me, by each ripple, but I'm the pond.

silly metaphors, and rhymes, little adages, throughout time,

so often just add up to the same thought:

The Truth Will Out, Much Ado For Nothing, and He Who Casts First ~

are only pleas from others who too, think they have naught.

so from that eye, I can abide, and know, but .. maybe not show it;

it is not a credential, i only know it's been used.

something of mine, behavior, or spirit, enticed a want to own it,

but only for an elaborate reason, and/or excuse. 

i am wary, but aware, by this repetition.

why such circumstances, repeating, the same?

when neither relation was related, one a lover, one a friend;?

what is it of me they wish to claim?

it's of no matter now, it just echoes,

because it can only be a Keynote to me.

it feels abrasive, like hunger, and it's uncomfortable.

and it takes a lot out of me to flee.

i never want to call a spade a ditch.

and i never want to call a diss a spade.

i have no use for sparring, but too often,

i find it best to just step away from the equation.

i've wondered at times if it might pull something better

because only absence allows anything New to be.

and if i frightened someone, or made them bristle,

it's only because i too, have seen.

it works both ways; it wasn't my mistake,

i was only captured by the depths of my own fear.

nothing can abrade you unless you want it to,

and Asking is the bridge to finding what you wish to hear.

~

7-17/18-18

Views: 42

Comment by koshersalaami on July 18, 2018 at 11:05am

nothing can abrade you unless you want it to

Not quite how I’d phrase it, though as stated it contains an element of truth. I’d say - not in terms of poetry, just content - nothing can abrade you unless you let it. 

Not an easy lesson, and one most people I know may not be able to internalize. But it’s true. 

I am no longer frightened by frightening people. 

Same deal in most non-violent situations. 

Not that detaching is easy and I don’t know if everyone could really do it. I just know I can. Of course, I don’t know if most people have ever tried it. 

People here generally don’t detach. 

Comment by The Songbird on July 18, 2018 at 11:26am

Thanks, Kosh.  We both have that duality -- a knowing of something outside the veneer, and I think choice IS in the matter.  I do like your phrasing, and thought on that.  But I chose want it to, because it keeps the piece in the flux of that suddenality wherein you find, again -- man, I just need to leave this situation.  there's nothing else for it.  why spar?  it only makes you appear as the person painted, causes the use of what you feel is being pulled.  I've actually become physically ill in the presence of bereft people, it almost comes from my diaphragm into my throat.  I'm serious.  I bless the thing I regard as astuteness, but I can only answer for me.  And do, I suppose, even though the other person may be left dumbfounded.  I can't control that either, and control is the very thing that becomes physical.  There is another adage my Mom taught me, besides 'the truth will out,' going a bit further, almost have to actually speak a reason for your leaving:  "I would if i could, but I can't, because I won't."  My spirit knows, and I trust that.  There is nothing more important than feelings.  They are our information, and the impetus of all our direction.

Always good to speak toward with you.  Thank you for Put; mean it, buddy.  

Comment by koshersalaami on July 18, 2018 at 3:27pm

Sparring is unnecessary. Lately I’ve limited some of my sparring here because I’ve decided to. I read something, want to answer, and then ask myself Why? What will it accomplish other than getting into an argument? The person I’d be sparring with is guaranteed not to agree under any circumstances and bystanders won’t care, so I’m wasting my time.

Comment by The Songbird on July 18, 2018 at 3:37pm

Yes, I agree, and I think that is the 'voice of experience.'  What you'd like in return is what you put out.  Works both ways.  If people bristle, such as in my case, why are they surprised someone bristles back?!  That 'first dynamic of conversation' we speak of!  Same with Fb, which I left over this. I think that site an inception point, and that is exactly what it does.  A place to be snotty, in a way.  Refutation.  Welp, I gots me a repUtation to uphold, see?  Yeh, that's the ticket!  There's only one Peggy Barry in this town, and I GET to be her!!   Hahaha.  But - I like it better to not explain -- it just perpetuates.  

I'd much rather talk with you; I don't read/respond much here either because it's politik, settled before it begins, so why try to give credence?  No need to prove, or refute -- and that rhymes!  I do miss the old 'writing for writing's sake' from whence we met Comments.  So it's always good to have that, dabble in furtherance instead.  

Like a line in the pome itself, you can only hope your absence brings what they were really after, if you were just a busy-signal of seeking.  

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