Anger Management

[Deborah Young]

And so it's been 8 days since I've been gone.

And my husband says:

"I love you and miss you."

"I'm going to counseling every week."

"I bought 2 books on men and anger, I'm reading them with a highlighter pen."

"I told my daughter I'm very angry and she said, "duh!"

"I've lost the most important thing to me and that's my marriage and I'll do anything to get it back."

"Our house doesn't feel like a home anymore."

"I'm lonely and have nobody to talk to."

"There's nothing to do here."

"I know I can change, please don't give up on me."

"My friend Bill is worried his wife will leave him too."

"Give me your address so I can mail you a card."

And so on and so forth.....

[Zanelle]

....and what do you say back?   Oh my,  it is so tricky and deep.  My heart goes out to you. 

[Jenny]

A leopard doesn't change his spots, but he's crafty enough to hide in the bushes to catch his pray. Be the gazelle who runs like hell.   

[tr ig]

Ooooh he's slick! 

"so I can mail you a card"

HAHAHA!!!

Funny too, how you may have started a trend, a revolt-wife-leaving trend, and his friend is sweating bullets!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Kathy Knechtges]

all the best Deborah!

[Deborah Young]

Zanelle: I just tell him I'm not sure it's going to work out.

Jenny: I know it.

Tr ig: oh yeah, divorce is definitely contagious and his friend's wife has had one foot out the door for years. I'll bet Bill hasn't even told his wife I left!!!

[Deborah Young]

I just wrote up a list of all the women I know who are in bad relationships and they won't leave and you know what? Every single one of them is sick with a chronic illness. From chronic migraines to cancer.

[Myriad]

That isn't long enough for real change.  And even real change may not stick when the situation resumes.  I think it's a mistake to communicate back at all.  Break the connection. 

[onislandtime]

Going over your relationship ask yourself if he treats others the way he treats you? If it is only his significant other and kids then he doesn't have an anger problem. He has an abuse problem. Anger management is not usually effective, unfortuantely, with domestic abusers. More abuser programs are being developed to deal with the problems the thinking that is different with abusers.

[Safe Bet's Amy]

uhhhh, words are cheap.   Didn't he threaten you with a knife?    Remember how scary that felt?    Do you even want to consider feeling that again?  Wasn't the sense of relief you felt when you finally got out better?  (shared with you from a woman who spends her week ends volunteering at a women's shelter and who sees what happens to women who "keep trying" for the good of the marriage).

BTW,  Mr.Futurist's comments were brought to you by the guy who used to brag about cheating on his wife.    

Now THERE is somebody I'd listen to closely!  ::rolleyes::  

[Melissa Houle]

Your own instincts are your best protection, Deborah.  Whenever your husband starts up with the sweet talk, remember why you left.  You've taken the decisive step and left so don't let yourself be tempted into undoing the good you've done. This is one you're better off without.