And then there is Nathan...
For thirty years Nathan has been a self-proclaimed protector of me. He has always been there whenever I found myself in one of my fixes. For the last six years Nathan has been a true guardian angel.
Man what did we do to our children?
Nathan is my younger brother. There is eleven years between us and we are best friends.
I must digress...
Only in this country do we take those individuals that spent their entire lives dedicated to what this county stands for and place them into camps calling them nursing homes, convalescing centers, rehabilitation centers and on and on which are really camps where two strangers are placed into a room not big enough for one and take away all of their funds, life savings, homes, etc., and try to convince them that this is paradise.
I have to say that without a second thought my stay in the nursing home Lost Creek are some of the most hated times of my life. There have been times of hallucination and surreal experiences and even some joy but for the most part it's been a real sense of hell. I watched my mother's health fail and die in this damnable place and I wonder what the future holds for me.
Now back to Nathan...
Now that mom is gone it's just Nathan, his wife, the boys and me. My other two brothers have nothing to do with me.
Nathan is showing some wear and tear over being a dad, husband and guardian for his oldest brother and on top of that being considered one of the finest teachers in this area who is now a guidance counselor.
There's too much to write about. The world is turning at the speed of something and I can't keep up sitting here in my room.
See this was supposed to be about Nathan I find writing about him is the same way his life seems to be going. Nathan has a full life. Such a beautiful existence which may be hard to see at times.
I decided to take a break and blow some bubbles in the hallway.
The DON was standing near and lost her fucking mind that I was blowing bubbles in the hallway. I fucking had a meltdown and went off on her in nine different directions. Come to find out today's women with children don't let their kids blow bubbles anywhere near a hardwood floor. They just took my sparklers.
Hell my mother let us blow bubbles in one hand and hold a sparkler with the other in the front room around a real Christmas tree that was still up. Fuck waiting till easter for bubbles.
I love the one aid, well both of them but the one trumpet playing aid that can negotiate a situation clean better than anyone I have ever seen. I find it inspiring land infuriating at the same time.
Super Nurse is back from her mini-vacation in a good mood. We've spent most of the day laughing and talking.
I don't know how to feel. How to feel about the possibility that this existence could be the way it will be now. I am finally looking into auditing some classes at the OSU branch here in Lima just to excite the mind and change the surroundings. I am looking at other travel options that require an independent effort on my part with the wheelchair.
Nathan will be happy with my new found efforts and will be relieved that it loosens up his schedule with me. There are big changes in store for the Nathan family in the next couple years.