A guy walks in to the grocery store carrying a head.

Stop me if you've heard this one.


I'm not kidding. A little before 6 a.m. my laptop was warmed up, the coffee was hot and the cat had been fed. Let's see if the world is still spinning, I thought while waiting for the the local cyber rag to come up with the headlines...

...then it popped up. In a rural setting, about 20 miles up the Clackamas River which feeds into to the Willamette, which feeds into the Columbia, which feeds into the Pacific Ocean, a man walked into a grocery store carrying a head.

Words followed.

Then he stabbed somebody. A bit later a headless body was discovered in a home about 10 miles away.

Authorities are telling us the two events are "probably linked."


I wasn't sure that continuing to read made sense, so I quickly switched to a more global news site and ended up feeling the same.

Our past, present and future have being found, discarded and limp, and are being "probably linked" to the head in the arms of the man whose world wide connections with criminal elements have not yet been proven.

Not yet. He hasn't set the head down on the counter and paid for what he's taken.

But he must, and it must be soon.

You can't just walk around like everything is normal with a damn head in your hands.

Views: 174

Comment by alsoknownas on May 15, 2017 at 8:10am

I actually know a good joke but didn't think I should start the week with something in poor taste.

Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on May 15, 2017 at 8:43am

of course you should   go ahead...

Comment by Jonathan Wolfman on May 15, 2017 at 8:44am

btw    unsanitary grocery stores are unknown in the East

Comment by alsoknownas on May 15, 2017 at 9:49am



Comment by Rosigami on May 15, 2017 at 9:59am

What a perfect analogy.

Possible alternative facts, as presented by sycophants trailing behind the big orange head-holder:

"It's not a real head"


"The head swore a loyalty oath"


"So sad. I have the head and you don't."


"We don't need no stinkin' special prosecutor because it's not a crime to hold a head"

I'm going back to bed.

Comment by koshersalaami on May 15, 2017 at 10:21am

That encapsulates it,

Except if the guy were Black, he'd be assumed to be responsible for all missing heads in the Pacific Northwest (or a Democrat following your metaphor). 

Comment by JMac1949 Today on May 15, 2017 at 10:42am

So it goes in the year of the Beast "45".  R&L

Comment by Rosigami on May 15, 2017 at 10:47am

(whoops, yep; it's a metaphor, not an analogy.)

Comment by alsoknownas on May 15, 2017 at 11:18am


More from the sycophants :

"I'm sure it can be sewn back on."

"It wasn't a very good head in the first place."

"What's the problem? Everyone loses their head once in awhile."

Comment by Rosigami on May 15, 2017 at 11:20am



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