President Trump Demands Identity of Anonymous NYT Writer: President Donald Trump is demanding that the New York Times reveal the identity of the “Senior Administration Official” who wrote the scathing op-ed piece about him, claiming the government needs to know who it was for "national security reasons.” At first I thought it has to be Melania, but then it occurred to me - if she had, the op-ed would have probably sounded a lot more like something Bela Lugosi wrote than it did. One thing’s for sure, if the White House does find that Melania wrote it, expect her to be taking more time off to get additional work done on her kidneys.
Roy Moore Sues Sacha Baron Cohen for $95 Million: Former Alabama Supreme Court chief justice Roy Moore is suing Sacha Baron Cohen, Showtime and CBS for $95 million for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress after being tricked into appearing on Cohen’s show in an episode that implied that he is a pedophile. Gee, I could be wrong here, but if Moore sues Cohen for defamation, when he goes to court, won’t he be “exposing himself” to all sorts of unwanted questions about his shady interactions with underage girls? After all, let’s not forget it was “exposing himself” that got him in this situation in the first place.
Man Named Stoner Busted for Illegal Pot Plants: A 42-year-old Virginia man who’s last name is Stoner, is facing drug charges after police found more than $10,000 worth of marijuana plants at his home. Police arrested the man - even though he kept insisting he didn’t do anything “bong.”