Moving On

I keep trying to move on from this graveyard place in my mind
But the past just keeps on creeping up on me from behind,
What happened then was just an illusion just a dream
Still it was my life more real than it now seems,

Yeah I keep trying to move on just trying to move on
Not much to live for but the uncertainty beyond
Yes I keep trying to move on
Sometimes unable to sleep until dawn,

Everyday just the same old thing remembering
Everyday the dream that died and a future left dangling
But I keep trying to move on from this graveyard place in my mind
But the past just keeps on creeping up on me from behind,

Yes everyday is a new day a chance to leave it all in the dust
Then there's my failing faith in love and trust
But I keep on trying to move on from this graveyard place in my mind
But the past just keeps on creeping up on me from behind,

Sometimes I pray to God for peace in my wounded mind
Moving on just trying to move on to any solace I can find
Never knew what it was like before not caring if I live or die
I'll just keep trying to keep moving on the past was just a lie.

Views: 111

Comment by Maui Surfer on May 9, 2018 at 8:51pm

One cannot live in the past without being hampered by it, we must learn from it, and move towards the future full steam ahead.

Comment by Doc Vega on May 10, 2018 at 4:31am

Yep, easier said than done. I was always too sentimental for my own good.

Comment by Safe Bet's Amy on May 10, 2018 at 7:34am

"I keep trying to move on from this graveyard place in my mind
But the past just keeps on creeping up on me from behind,"

This is really good stuff, Doc.

I'm kind of there myself.   A day doesn't go by without me thinking of my late wife or thinking about the things I have gone through in my life.   Visiting that "graveyard" isn't necessarily a bad thing because it makes up a part of who we are and, regardless of what people think is "being hampered by it" (which is total bullshit), I'm okay with it.  You should be too.

Comment by Maui Surfer on May 10, 2018 at 8:15am

Bullshit, you can live a nostalgic life, and dream of the "good old days", like when we didn't have mobile phones and our cars broke down in the middle of nowhere, like when we had a great relationship (3 marriages for me, all great at certain points) but can't put ourselves out there to start a new one which might even bring instant happiness if you you give it a try ... or, you stay home, 12 pack by your side (not saying this is you Doc) and cry tears in your beers about what was and might have been while the world keeps spinning regardless. It is NOT healthy to live in the past, this is proven, ask any expert, get some help if needed, one should, when not considering lessons learned, think ONLY of the future. This is an obvious personal slight here, so kiss off, if I wanted to I could sit around thinking about days most people only dream of, surfing with Peter Fonda, riding Tramp Freighters to Tasmania, and so much more, but, I don't ... I think about my kids getting better in the future from the damage of Bush's wars, I think about how long I can surf, then exercise to make it happen, I think about, sorry Doc, Trump being out of office and the Country having a chance again. SBA is right about one thing, you do have a gift for poetry, and it is one of the most difficult disciplines of writing, good on you!

Comment by Foolish Monkey on May 10, 2018 at 1:23pm

We all live nostalgic lives Maui, we all have our good old days with one foot in the past.  Even perfect sage old surfer you, who can't have a discussion about politics without bringing up YOUR past, and your intense need to make things right and bash heads - and trust, I don't begrudge you wanting retribution - but you gotta respect pain.

humans are complex and sensitive and the pain we endure sometimes is covered with callous but sometimes not. 

it seems to me reading Doc and Amy, their pain is no different and no less worthy than yours.   And maybe you see your past as superior and more deserving of lugging around your soul like a sack of bricks, or maybe you're not even aware of it - maybe it's just as much you as anything else. 

Don't knock yearning for what might have been.  It's can be a most beautiful part of the past. 

Comment by Maui Surfer on May 10, 2018 at 5:42pm

Monkey, in politics and war- and the Civil Rights that accompany them; past is prologue.

In Psychological health, in being happy every day, in not giving in to depression, that inward turned anger at how things didn't go your way, forward is the only direction, though it sure helps to include the present.

I'm looking forward to a surf trip to Indonesia this Summer (Winter there, when the waves are biggest) with the same fervor I once had on the way to Nicaragua in the 80s, funny though, the two cross over- the name of the spot we surfed there was called Ollie's Point, after the new leader of the NRA ... life, so simple yet so complex ... oh, I could tell you some stories about the Contras, but, that would be living in the past again :)

Comment by Maui Surfer on May 10, 2018 at 5:49pm

And lets not get off "Point" here, while he sadly is under Putin's heavy influence, Doc Vega may possibly have gone to SWTSTC with LBJ given his talent at poetry. It seems that honed. Perhaps he once even taught it to others as our great Civil Rights, and so sadly terrible wartime, president once did.

Comment by Doc Vega on May 11, 2018 at 9:17am

Maui you mentioned that one definition of depression is that it is anger turned inward, others will say that it's self pity, while others speculate that it is a conscious or unconscious choice to look at things in a certain negative way, but in my case I will say it's different. I think it's situational and due to the loss of hope. And like you I've had 3 marriages and that loss of hope I spoke about seems to be partially in the realm of bad choices of the opposite sex with the one commonality, they all suffered abuse, sexual and physical. My brother once told me I had an invisible beacon on my forehead that acted like a fishing lure for that type of species. I do not fault women who have fallen into that terrible trap, but they do unconsciously tend to create even more victims by perpetuating the injustice they have suffered in the mental abuse or even same kind of abuse to others as they have experienced themselves. This says a lot for my self preservation instincts. If I were a dinosaur probably would have been once of the first to get predated after the mating ritual so my bloodline would not have gotten far. As to my progeny I have 4 who I raised and have gone on to bigger and better things.

Comment by Doc Vega on May 11, 2018 at 9:21am

Foolish Monkey, I think it's possible to look back fondly on past positive experiences and I do, but sometimes we just come to a point in life where we begin running our of rope and our mistakes become more and more unrecoverable so I have only myself to blame for not wising up and my road to hell has definitely been paved with good intention.

Comment by Maui Surfer on May 11, 2018 at 9:38am

Doc- that is the most profound thing I've ever heard you say. What you find, I'm afraid, is that the abused finally see in you someone who won't hurt them, won't fight back, at least not physically, won't put them in jail or simply confine them, and so, they take out a lifetime of revenge on you, all the while you are trying to save them 99% of the time. I have seen this pattern over and over and over and over ... 

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