a tiny little show and the story of FAIL!

The first three are in the works - the last of them is a major fail that I keep beating to shit...I don't think it's finished although it might be because I may have killed the shit out of it.   

I've actually liked it in each incarnation but the next day I look and I think "UGH".  I KNOW that's because the color sinks and it will be fine when I varnish...but if I'm honest, there's SOMEthing missing so I keep beating it. ("fine" never works for me.)  (if I don't think it's extraordinary in some way, I will keep looking for the extraordinary until I think I hit it.  even if it means total destructo.)  I SHOULD start another painting - that's what I SHOULD do. 

so you see, I KNOW what to do.  I just don't do it.  

this first is an old self portrait that I had liked but never finished, then some years later, I threw a glaze over it, but got screwed up in the glaze drying stage, so it went into a corner for about 35 years and I forgot about it until every time we moved.  recently I stumbled on it again and said to myself, "self, you can do something with this." and put it in a closer corner to not forget it.   last week I pulled it out of the corner and after looking at Munch, decided I should be a vampire.  so here we go.  vampyre.  woop!

I like it a lot.  I hope I don't fuck it up. I find Munch very helpful. 

this is a larger canvas - it's a healthy size - not huge...I used to paint gigantic canvases and spent a fortune on paint but no more although it looks like I might be working my way up again. 

anyway this one's an ode to Frank Mason who I studied with for a little while (look him up - particularly his still lifes) (yummy).  he was a great painter - not really my style - too baroque and fussy but damn, he was all about the brushwork and studying with him in vermont was like taking a drama class....really.  I got to share a ski chalet with a bunch of painters for a month...total drama junkies, total fun, a mess of artsy people are always very sexy.  no sex to speak of but...okay....fun.  I need to take a better picture...I was getting a lot of reflective light so color and detail is lost. 

THE FOLLOWING IS NOT A GOOD PAINTING. Although it might be.  I might have to scrub off everything and start again.  I might stick it in a corner and hide it from myself.  

I like this today.

latest version - subject to change

BELOW: other versions from earliest to the one before this one or something...there have been about 10 different versions going from loose to tigher and crazier.  I don't think I mind that but I don't know...I'm looking for SOMEthing...when it happens I know.  I might have stormed right past "it" with this one though. 

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Comment by Tom Cordle on February 13, 2018 at 3:00pm

"The first three are in the works - the last of them is a major fail that I keep beating to shit" Sounds just like me with my songs and my articles. At the moment, there are at least a dozen in the cue waiting for me to get off my ass, as Gen Kelley would have it. As for your paintings, I'm afraid I'm not fit to judge the flowers, but I really like the self-portrait.


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