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Comment by cheshyre on December 31, 2017 at 9:45pm

Fort Worth Japanese garden

Comment by Rodney Roe on January 3, 2018 at 4:14am

I really like your haiku and the form, in general.  Adding the photo makes it even better.

A distant, no longer, in-law, used to post a morning haiku daily.  I couldn't wait to see what she had written.

The family is still friends with her and her husband is an outcast.

Comment by koshersalaami on January 3, 2018 at 6:44am

Question about Haiku:

Is the syllable count strict? I’ve seen some, including this one, that don’t follow it. (I’m a musician. I count beats.) On the other hand, I gather from doing a little reading that the traditional subject is seasonal, which this follows beautifully. 

This is not intended as a correction, it’s intended as a question. I’m not accusing you of not being able to count to seven. 

Comment by koshersalaami on January 3, 2018 at 6:46am

When it comes to poetry, I am not (pardon the expression) well versed.

Comment by cheshyre on January 3, 2018 at 7:05am

Photo haiku is something I saw on Japanese TV and I think is helpful when one has limited powers of description like me.

Haiku technically should be 5-7-5 but problem is when translating from Japanese they can't always come out that way. I count 'towards' as two syllables for this purpose though I went back and forth on that as I'm given poetic license.

Comment by Rodney Roe on January 12, 2018 at 4:42am

Forms of poetry seem to follow the rhythm of the  language.  English seems to favor the iamb which Shakespeare used to great success with iambic pentameter.  Trochees which put the emphasis on the first syllable of two, seems less popular, and dactyls which are like waltz rhythm with the emphasis on the first syllable, are more adaptable to Greek, although there are some beautiful examples in English. I don't speak French, but I understand that French poetry is more syllable based like Japanese.

As you may have guessed, I've been reading a lot about poetry lately because I understand it so poorly.  Knowing about how poetry is written will not make one a poet.

And then, as in "towards" we have to allow for regional accents and poetic license.

Cheshyre, was this translated from Japanese?  If so, I'm even more impressed.

Comment by cheshyre on January 12, 2018 at 10:45pm

Thanks, Rodney. The poem is original. I always attribute if not. If you like haiku Basho is my favorite. Most Japanese poetry is short but intense, like a heartbeat. That makes it hard to let in sometimes.


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