"SATIRIST'S (and Comedians) GO WIDE"...Longing for Speed Bumps in today's News Cycle!

Remember when 'Breaking News' was an Earthquake, a Wild Fire or a President choking on a pretzel?

The pace of news today compared to George Washington's day is amazing.  By the time the Town Crier got up, had breakfast & milked the cow - the news was still warm - today it would be toast!

In this White House, we need a scoreboard on who quit before they got fired, who got fired before they quit & who came in on Monday, forgot they quit & then got fired!

Sometimes I feel like I'm on the Chocolate Assembly Line on the "I Love Lucy" show - but I'm twice as fat!

As a Political Satirist & former Stand-Up - there's nothing sadder than an expiration date.  I can't just rest on my (1980's) laurels...

"Today Reagan said, 'Sex sure - Mommy promised after naptime we'd play Pee Wee's Big Adventure' "!

See, you can't go back!  ha ha

But, there's no 'Stop the Presses' - not on Donald Trump's Watch.  Everything's moving too fast! 

We can't dawdle, can't spellcheke, can't even call Siri...this morning's Trump meltdown is this afternoon's expired copy & already in the crapper!

See that - now they call it a shredder!

No, I can't keep pace with the Breaking News - I'm still workin' on 'Christie Fat Jokes'!

I'm so out of the loop - I don't even have time to find out Kim, Kendal or Khloe's latest Pregnancy Test's results!Today - everybody's on 'POTUS Resignation Watch' - with the exception of Mike Pence who wants to stall - as the drapery swatches haven't arrived yet!

And 9 out of 10 people think Bob Mueller is taking too long - the 10th person, of course - is Trump!

Remember when a Probe was held by a professional wearing a 6 finger glove?  No wonder Mueller's taking so long - Trump won't stand still!

And, he's getting fitted for a Statue!

Don't worry - he won't be sitting on a horse unless it has a number on it & came in 1st!

But, we humorists really do have a writer's obligation to keep track - making fun of the hypocrisy, the corruption, the injustices & the money launderings - and that's just while doing my 'whites'!

Don't laugh - I'm up a buck, fifty!

Yes, in the Trump Era, our latest work instantly becomes obsolete before the editor even presses the publish button.  He did what?

Like I was saying - I'll get back to you!

***

Happy to say this can also be seen in "Humor Times Magazine" but with ebay Ads for "Melania's Flood Pumps"!

https://www.humortimes.com/62920/satirists-comedians-go-wide/

Views: 52

Comment by alsoknownas on September 12, 2017 at 10:23am

Meanwhile, Pat Sajak and Vanna White are in a tizzy. What will they do when a trip to the Caribbean or Hawaii only solicits a look of pained horror?

Comment by koshersalaami on September 12, 2017 at 11:26am

Offer cash. What did they do when people got fed up with porcelain Dalmatians?

Comment by Ron Powell on September 12, 2017 at 12:10pm

Great stuff! 

Comment by marilyn sands on September 12, 2017 at 1:13pm

Thanks for stopping by aka - always a treat.  What's going on this week with Mother Nature?  More than sad.  Humorously, I'm tryin' not to go there! 

Comment by marilyn sands on September 12, 2017 at 1:36pm

Thanks Kosh.  We can't blame Trump for the weather - but it would be most honorable if he signed a Bill now on Climate Change!

Comment by marilyn sands on September 12, 2017 at 1:37pm

Thanks so much Ron - really appreciate it! 

Comment by Terry McKenna on September 13, 2017 at 2:26am

Good piece but the real humor is in the head of the EPA saying that we should not politicize climate right now. 

Comment by koshersalaami on September 13, 2017 at 3:59am

That's what's called the "laissez-wreck" doctrine 

Comment by marilyn sands on September 13, 2017 at 12:16pm

Thanks Terry!  Didn't really want to go there with the devastation - but it's hard to ignore. I think it's not a matter of 'politicizing ' but recognizing an early signal & acting on it.

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