One week from today is the memorial for Steve. My hope/plan is this be a celebration of his life. The theme is "Jazz Funeral" ish, or as ish as I can make it. It will be here at the house trig (re)built.

I would LOVE to know your favorite tr ig saying, trigism, glimpse into the man known as tr ig, stories and the like that I can read aloud or at least print out. Much appreciation. 

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Comment by Jenny on July 22, 2017 at 4:03am

This from my daughter. She won't be able to attend the memorial, as she lives 600+ miles away, and she complained that it was too short and couldn't figure out how to expand the thought. But its perfect...

I'd managed to stay dry eyed all day, focusing on getting the house around, picking up chairs and tables, meeting the caterer, banking, oh, and finally finished painting the base coat on the living room side of my mammoth 2 sided fireplace, no more chalky primer white. And then I read this at 10 pm last night and bawled my eyes out. 

"Thank you, Steve

I didn’t know you well enough to miss your presence in this world the way so many others will, but I know my mom, and it was easy 
to see who you were through her.  I could see who you were in her smile, her eyes, her thoughts spoken out loud.  I think it was in a very 
Steve fashion to leave us the way you did; leave us in a way that reminds us to live and love everyday as if it was our last.  You’ve 
shown my mom that love and spirit.  You’ve shown her something she’s never had before.  I will be forever grateful to you for the
light, love, humor, and companionship you brought into her life. Thank you, Steve, for being that man."
 
Comment by koshersalaami on July 22, 2017 at 5:25am

I can see why you did

You have a perceptive daughter

Comment by Julie Johnson on July 22, 2017 at 6:19am

Jenny, I found another one for you. 

Comment by tr ig on April 30, 2016 at 8:18am

Great slice of life piece, much enjoyed. I used to look forward to the day when I knew all the stuff the grownups knew. Then grew up and realized that they didn't know as much as I had thought. Now, same age as you and poor dead Prince, I know that most of us will die never having unlocked most of the mysteries. We just put one foot in front of the other most blindly, until the feet won't step no mo'. What can one do but try to rise above the drama, raise up our kids if we have some, take note of the ever-present beauty, and try to be kind? It might be an outdated way of thinking but I do still believe in karma .. or more simply, 'comes around goes around.' Maybe it's not such a mystery afterall.

Comment by Foolish Monkey on July 22, 2017 at 8:31am

steve wasn't a saint, but he got it right.  he was a good man.  I spent a good part of last night - couldn't sleep - reading his blog.  

jenny, you guys were in love.  I love that - that you found each other a little later in life when you were smarter and a little dinged from your individual histories and because of that, you were smart enough to know what you had stumbled into.

damn. I'm tearing up now.  he was dear and I miss him big.  

Comment by Rita Shibr on July 22, 2017 at 5:58pm

What a beautiful letter from your daughter, and how prophetic the note from Julie up there via Trig.

I still am in shock he's gone as I know you are too. I am proud of you for your composure and bravery in all this. I am hoping the service was everything you hoped it would be. 

Love and thoughts and a huge hug over the miles Asia/Jenny. xoxo

Comment by greenheron on July 23, 2017 at 5:22am

Thinking of you all yesterday. I want to say hope the wake went well, but that's not quite right, because everyone wishes that there was no need for a wake. 

Grief has so many phases. I never know what I'm going to get one day to the next when I'm in it. People will ask how are you doing. They hope to see progress, but grief isn't linear. Five years on, some days I miss my mother as much as the day she died.

I like thinking of you surrounded by loving family and clean grout though. And screaming at your damn steering wheel. Maybe keep a pack of Kleenex in the car?

xoxoxoxo,

green heron

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