This is an old, old, old photo shopped picture. But, I like it and I don't think I've posted it for awhile.
Makes me think of you all, out there.
Exactly! If you feel better, why not? I've been 'hiding out' now for 20 years. The few times I've 'come out' because somebody thought I 'should'? Here's a harumph and an eye roll...
Okay, now the comments are messing up, for real. You do have to go back to the beginning to find the middle, before the end. I've got an hour this morning, without interruptions (knock wood) As soon as I say that...Anyway, this morning I looked at the left hand side here, where the comments are, thinking it was a new post, ..oh good some Haikus...wait a minute, this isn't Sunday, is it? Looked at the calendar and saw it wasn't and then I spent way too long in my mind, wondering how did Drew Silla get her post to the top, with out changing the dates? It's in the comments section, duh!
I know. Things is weird. My usual MO for winging around is to check the posts I recently commented on, listed on my blog page. This morning they were all from last year, nothing remotely recent. I only noticed this one because I saw in the main page comment feed that you'd commented.
When I was hearing that voice in my head, I was thinking Maxwell Smart. Did a you tube google, and this ^^^ is what came up.
It stormed AGAIN, today. Last year at this time, we having a drought. This year I feel like I'm living in a hot steamy rain forest. Just got in from grocery shopping, and came home with TWO count them, TWO big cans of coffee on sale. I always feel 'rich' when my cupboards are full. So anyway, I made a big late night pot for myself and my youngest son, to drink while we internet. Him, with his games in his room with people from all over the country, and me out in the laundry room by myself in the corner, thinking my deep thoughts of days gone by. GB and my Anna out in the living room watching the cooking shows together. They invited me to sit with them, but I'm more in a coffee drinking and visiting mood this evening. Thought I'd see if anybody was online.
Julie, pass that coffee over here, would ya?
You are a night owl it seems. I'm in the sack by ten at the latest, up at five. My favorite time of day is early morning, birds going wild, rabbits eating my ferns, the light.
What are your deep thoughts on days gone by? Lots and lots of by gone days here too. I always think about my mom this time of year. She died in early July. I miss her every day. Now I'm about the age that I remember her being the most, and look like her and sound like her. I've been starting out the day in the studio by sketching a little silk change purse she used to hold subway tokens when she was a girl going back and forth to school. I'm surprised at how much love and emotion the simple act of drawing it brings up.
Heavy rain here too last night, beautiful on the roof, like a symphony. I just sat for awhile and listened.
Title has been changed. Picture remains the same, and it's not fair to tell other people how to grieve or what to say, in times like this. Speaking from experience, grief can very quickly turn to anger. This is a big one.
And, I'm really really angry that one of the good ones is gone. Gone from the world! So sorry for the family. damn damn damn.....
No, it's not right. It never is.
So stunned. Thought we all had years left to tell our tales with tr ig and bask in happiness, or not, but with good company....
but so it goes.
(words can be so inadequate)
best to you, Julie.
Will be back around....
Yes, this is a big one
I'm not the kind to go back and re-read all tr ig's posts - too raw at the moment, anyway - but I was drawn to the Fish and Eagle post the other day without knowing why, where I was reminded you and I had a great chat with tr ig.... if you ever feel like re-reading anything, that one's a good one.
Family funeral, friends gone forever, more family arriving for a visit next week.
Full up over here...
Grateful it's not 100 degrees so much this summer (so far) and NO smoke, that's all I can think of at the moment.
Anna, thank you!
What you said, stunned and shocked and just ...wordless.
I had just signed in, as usual in the morning. Quiet, coffee at hand, lit a smoke. Had this one up and after reading you and Greeny and Phyllis, was typing some silly stuff and sorta thinking about my mom. I do think about my mom, every day. That, and what with the cemetery and all, hardly ever totally all that surprised when people go away like they do, unexpectedly. Except, this time I was. That picture that I've got up top, is really how I think about you all and a lot of people in my life. How as you get to know people, they slowly start to come into focus. Or not. We never know any more about people, than what they feel like sharing. Every body is a persona, in a way. And tr ig, damn he was so good at sharing his life. I felt like I knew him and his family, and you did! I like what Nana was saying about how they 'gossiped' about this place, and how people do type for an audience 'cause that's how it was at my old place, years before here. One of the things tr ig was really good at, was drawing people out. Just about every one of my stories here, started with something he had mentioned. Like I said, I had this one up and was typing about some silly things, but I wasn't really satisfied with it. I thought, you know...better read the front page first, before I hit send.
And there it was.. "good bye, brother'' My very first thought was, 'is this real?' We had all just chatted the night before! So fresh in my mind. I couldn't help myself, I just started crying and all I could think was why am I crying? What about his brother and his son, and his partner? All the people here, that have known them for years...I deleted all I was typing about, and just wrote 'crying' and hit send. Didn't really think about the title. Just sat here, stunned. GB came walking thru and asked what was going on? I told him, one of my online friends just died. I've never mentioned tr ig, or his family to GB, but he knows about Anna, who's brother lives here and mine lives there, just enough information to keep it on the up and up, you know? He's not really interested, but he tries to be understanding of my time, online. He calls you all my 'pen pals'. GB's a good man.
And then, it's time to wipe my tears, and 'Go to work!' Life goes on. What's that old poem? Time stops for no man...
Except, I do think there are a few exceptions to that rule, and I do believe we all just did witness one of them that could stop time. For a little while, anyway.
xo, back at cha...
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