Anyone besides me notice the glaring omission of any mention of the POWERBALL by Obama last night? The O is out of touch with the average American's hopes and dreams I say. Yeah it's cool that still, here in year 8, he wants to close GITMO. Bravo and yawn Barack, yes that's exciting. Whatever. What about the POWERBALL? Certainly, it's good to know that our individual chances of being killed by ISIS parallel the odds of being mauled by a grizzly bear and a polar bear on the same calendar day, and yes we are aware that odds of hitting the POWERBALL are far less than that, but by God, we would rather dream of winning a cool billion than contemplate the possibility that we are not doomed. 

So how much is it? I haven't checked today; far over a billion to be sure, and I'll be running to contribute before the day is out I tell you. My son calls it the poor people tax. Folks will literally downgrade their food intake in quantity or quality, voluntarily, glad to have the chance of winning. Winos will forego wine. Mothers will wash out and re-use pampers. Cars will be found abandoned, out of gasoline, because .. POWERBALL. Choices must be made!

There was a thing going around on facebook, a meme as they say (pronounced meem, go figure), that got everyone all agitated earlier this week when the POWERBALL was only 800 million or so. Some communist genius did the math---figured that we could split the jackpot evenly, giving every single man, woman, and child .. black and white, Christian and Muslim (excluding Obama) .. 4.33 million dollars! Which would be plenty wouldn't it! But, alas, turns out it only works out to four dollars and thirty three cents each. Sadness resumes. 

Considering that for a moment ^ was fun though, WHAT IF we all suddenly had 4.33 million? What if you had ten kids and THEY ALL got 4.33 million, better yet. But, wouldn't that lead to total societal collapse? Who would volunteer for the military and go kill ISIS if they had 4.33 million in their pocket? Probably still a few .. like a dozen. That would be our military, 12 dimwits who really really want to dust a raghead. Who would flip the burgers, maid the house, mow the lawn .. grow the food? Nobody. So then we'd starve to death in filth as the yard becomes an eyesore to the whole neighborhood.

And always the question .. yes this is fun, the non-communist reality outcome ... what would you do with a billion plus dinero? Worthwhile to consider, and I'll be reporting back after it happens with my decisions tomorrow! First on the list though, goes without sayin', guns and lots of them, and a hella fence surrounding my compound, and oh yeah, a compound .. with servants girls from Syria and plenty of them, and every Bowie album, and Paul Ryan .. I'd buy him for compound jester. The list goes on and on. Dream with me my fellow Americans!

Views: 360

Comment by Safe Bet's Amy on January 13, 2016 at 10:42am

Heh.  Yeah I saw the $4.33 million each thing and started laughing.  I guess a journalism major doesn't require many basic math courses.  

BTW, did you see that the Iranians have already release those Navy people WHO INVADED THEIR SOVEREIGN WATERS???

Comment by older/exasperated on January 13, 2016 at 10:53am

Hey I could buy a new 135ft yacht fishing boat anyway I though it would be a hoot to win so we made a trip to Misery yesterday and bought 10k worth of tickets, so our wives wouldn't find out we said the payment was for Missouri Children Education Fund. Which is not fibbing because they say that is where all the money collected goes. We still haven't figured out how to hide the fishing boat.

Comment by alsoknownas on January 13, 2016 at 10:57am

I pay taxes.

That's enough.

I don't buy lottery tickets.

Comment by Zanelle on January 13, 2016 at 11:03am

I would buy world peace...is that possible.

Comment by Anna Herrington on January 13, 2016 at 11:17am

Yeah, the Powerball!

(Joisey, my son and I were just discussing the exact same thing last night - and now your fulltime job is to manage all the money, and move, and hire security, and change your name...)

The lottery conveniently takes up all the news space, doesn't it? Never mind that the Aussie papers are warning of 2016 global stock crash, and thousands and thousands of birds are washing up dead on the coast of Alaska, while Fukushima cesium is expected to hit the US west coast this year (it hasn't already?) amid some scientist saying the oceans can't absorb the radiation the way we're to be expected to believe (duh)....

boy, I'm (er...the real news is) a little depressing this morning, aren't I/isn't it?

but - meanwhile:

http://www.bigstory.ap.org/article/51a6be097cf34fa9a965bd84dbacc028...

: )

My oldest son fully believes even if Sanders won the vote, he wouldn't get to the presidency as he's not with the global domination (of seed supply, of power, of military, etc) program.  Who knows what will happen.  I'm just liking the surge of support for anyone *not* buddies with Monsanto et al.

Comment by tr ig on January 13, 2016 at 11:49am

The Bern beware. I agree with your wise son and happy birthday to that fine young man Anna. The near future is looking sketchier by the minute. We need the powerball.

Z .. no, no it isn't :o

aka SOMEBODY wins, it's like fishing. Only guarantee of not catching a fish is not wetting a line. Get out there and get those tickets, and if you win you'll owe me. Yeah that's it

o/e children's ed fund indeed, so they say .. I suspect a bunch of that money is going in this and that pocket though. Not mine, yet, ever .. ok I won five once

joisey good idea. Open a site and pay everybody for every entry. As to calamity in your life, winning would bring all that. I'm thinking, head immediately for Thailand or Bali or Vancouver or somewhere, to fucking hide

No Amy didn't hear that. Do you think Iran would have let our non-GPS reading sailors go 8 years ago? Ha

Comment by nerd cred on January 13, 2016 at 11:54am

If one of the burdens of all that money would be hiding from everyone you know so you don't have to give them any of it you could just share it. Spread it around. Problem solved. No hiding.

Comment by Anna Herrington on January 13, 2016 at 12:02pm

I imagine the hiding/moving is from the total strangers who are crazies, not the people you'd want to share it with...

Comment by tr ig on January 13, 2016 at 12:03pm

Yes of course I'd give family a pile each .. before I went into seclusion. 

Comment by koshersalaami on January 13, 2016 at 12:53pm

I didn't bother with the state of the union address.  Let's see, if I won,

Every year I'd host an Our Salon meeting, I'd front plane tickets, accommodations, meals, name tags, and masks so we can protect our anonymity. 

Wait, a billion is a lot. 

i'd buy an island outside of the jurisdiction of the US legal system. I'd build a small arena. Every time we had a major dustup, I'd fly us all there, most to be in the audience, and I'd provide the combatants with Roman gladiator equipment. Then, after the combatants give us the new traditional gladiatorial proclamation:

Quibus haec salutaria blog acturi sumus te salutant

which means

Those of you who are about to blog, we salute you  (isn't Google Translate wonderful?)

they can go ahead and kill each other and we can all fly home.

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