Kage Alan's Blog (185)

The Real TMI

Little Brother has been lecturing me on and off for a couple of years about how much I share on social media. His biggest complaint comes in the form of a question: “What do I know about you that isn’t on Facebook?” And his second biggest complaint is “Why do I have to read about something that happened to you on Facebook first? Why can’t I hear about it from you BEFORE you post on social media?” Honestly, there are times I think he wants me to tell him something that happened before it even…

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Added by Kage Alan on April 24, 2017 at 6:30am — 6 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 16)

It's still nice to know I'm useful, though I suspect there's no actual job security involved.

Added by Kage Alan on April 22, 2017 at 8:00am — 4 Comments

TMI: The Star Wars Celebration Orlando Trip (Part 2)

We last left our heroes in Orlando on a Friday afternoon on Holy Shit Day as the Star Wars Celebration convention kicked into high gear! And they got the heck outta there.

LB and I headed out right after, grabbed some Red Lobster for lunch, and I was informed I’d agreed to attend a Cirque show at Downtown Disney in the early evening. And so I did. Agree, that is. By default. We decided to take a swim first, and enjoyed a refreshing dip before heading to La Nouba. La Nouba is the third…

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Added by Kage Alan on April 19, 2017 at 6:30am — 6 Comments

TMI: The Star Wars Celebration Orlando Trip (Part 1)

I promised my brother-in-law I wouldn’t blog about his not inviting me to his bachelor party, so, as you can see, I’m totally keeping that promise! Now, on to today’s post.

Ever have someone read your blog posts (or your emails if you don’t have a blog) and give you feedback before you post or send them? Welcome to my life with Little Brother. I’ve been put on notice regarding my recent blog posts for telling folks about the aging process, about ear or nose hair, etc., and informed…

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Added by Kage Alan on April 18, 2017 at 6:30am — 6 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 15)

It's not just me, right? You perceive a slight threat in this too?

Added by Kage Alan on April 15, 2017 at 8:00am — 3 Comments

A Senile Deity With Bad Aim Sends Hair To Wrong Places

I distinctly remember starting college and listening to many of the guys on my dorm floor talking about their weekend conquests. And for once, these people weren’t making it up. They really were doing the deed, and a couple of them mentioned how the girls loved their chest hair. I didn’t have any. None. Zip. Zilch. I didn’t have any girls either, which I’m totally fine with, but I wanted chest hair. I probably went to bed for the next 3 years each night putting a word in with a higher power…

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Added by Kage Alan on April 10, 2017 at 6:30am — 5 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 14)

There are 2 words the Grandmonster should never say to a gay man; Betty White.

Added by Kage Alan on April 8, 2017 at 8:00am — No Comments

Swimming With Turtles: Trip To Saint Thomas and San Juan

Do you ever get into a funk and not realize you’re in one? Michigan is a beautiful place to live—and I expect I’ll die here someday—but we have some long ass winters. It didn’t occur to me how much of a toll the 20 and 30-degree weather we’ve been having for MONTHS now was getting me down. Cue my hubby calling and suggesting I fly down to see him in Saint Thomas for a couple of days. This would be my second visit in 6 years.

If ever a good time existed to head south before summer hits…

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Added by Kage Alan on April 3, 2017 at 6:43am — 10 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 13)

It's important to combine things when you're the Grandmonster.

Added by Kage Alan on April 1, 2017 at 8:00am — 4 Comments

The Hollywood Science Ninja Team From Corporate Hell!

What do you say we have a little fun with today’s post? It’s been nothing but serious serious serious in the news lately, and politics politics politics. The serious politics bit is why I’ve gone down to blogging one day a week. Everyone, including myself, is so paranoid about what’s going on in Washington, we’re not reading much for pleasure. Even I have the “Oh, Christ, what’s he done now???” mentality. So, what could we do today to lighten the mood? I have an idea.

I’ve been…

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Added by Kage Alan on March 27, 2017 at 6:30am — 1 Comment

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 12)

Who says turnabout isn't fair play?

Added by Kage Alan on March 25, 2017 at 8:00am — No Comments

Earning An Honorable New Title

Little Brother Eddie flew in this past weekend for reasons I cannot divulge, except to say it had something to do with the upcoming book. In any case, he had one request: “I want to go to Frankenmuth.” I asked why. “I want to go get noodles from the restaurant we ate at last time, and I want to stop off at the outlet mall.” I asked why. “Because I like the noodles.” I didn’t mean that part of the reason. “Oh, I want to shop for some clothes for my niece and nephew.”

LB’s niece is…

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Added by Kage Alan on March 20, 2017 at 6:30am — 6 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 11)

When in doubt, know that she's not-so-secretly plotting.

Added by Kage Alan on March 18, 2017 at 8:00am — 4 Comments

Phantasm Wind Storm And The Victorinox Maneuver

Those of us in Michigan found ourselves treated to a wind storm last week that nearly gave the film Twister a run for its money. No, we didn’t have funnels—or funnel cakes, which would have been preferable because they’re delicious with a little powdered sugar—but we did have 16 hours of constant wind that tended to gust between 40 and 60mph. Yes, 16 hours of it. I believe estimates were mentioned at 1 million folks being left without power. Even now as I write this, Sunday evening, there…

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Added by Kage Alan on March 13, 2017 at 7:30am — 6 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 10)

Ask and ye shall receive...ish.

Added by Kage Alan on March 11, 2017 at 8:00am — 3 Comments

Humbled

I’m not a novice at writing. You wouldn’t always know it—well, I wouldn’t always know it—but I’ve had my share of compliments when I’ve assisted someone with something they were working on. And while I’ve been writing creatively since I was in first grade, I have always maintained that I continue to learn. The day I no longer feel I can learn anything is the day my ass needs to retire. If there is a flaw in my ability to write, it’s that I fail to see the errors in one of my own finished…

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Added by Kage Alan on March 6, 2017 at 6:30am — 10 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 9)

Duck! It's duck sauce, folks!

Added by Kage Alan on March 4, 2017 at 8:30am — 5 Comments

Revisiting My Firstborn 20 Years Later

I graduated from University back in 1993, and was a couple of months out when one of my former high school teachers called me up. She’d been doing some research on a book she wanted to write, only she wasn’t entirely sure how to start it, or how to develop it. We spent a couple of days together going over ideas, then she went off to write. Two weeks later, she called and asked if I wanted to co-author the book. I’d never completed a book yet, so I agreed.

The genre wasn’t my first…

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Added by Kage Alan on February 27, 2017 at 6:30am — 6 Comments

Texts With Grandmonster (Part 8)

Turnabout is fair play!

Added by Kage Alan on February 25, 2017 at 8:30am — 8 Comments

Trying To Kick That Depressed Feeling

I spent this past weekend in New York City. It seems when I’ve reached a certain point in dealing with things, when I just can’t clear my head, I book a flight to NYC. It’s a bit like the ultimate comfort food. Now, I’m sure New York has its share or problems—the place scared me to no end the first couple of times I visited—but I’ve been pretty sheltered by them. And when I need her, she welcomes me with open arms.

There’s no point in lying. I, like so many others, have been deeply…

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Added by Kage Alan on February 20, 2017 at 6:00am — 6 Comments

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