Johnny Robish's Blog – December 2016 Archive (30)

Pollster Lou Harris Dead at 95

Pollster Lou Harris Dead at 95:  Lou Harris, the influential pollster and political consultant who was among the first to provide polling services directly to candidates and officeholders, died in Key West three weeks ago at the age of 95.  Ironically, a recent Gallup poll found that only 31% of the Americans were even aware that Lou Harris was still alive.  In related news, a memorial concert is being planned for February with promotors hoping to get Emmylou…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 31, 2016 at 9:20pm — No Comments

Burger King Announces Antibiotic-Free Chicken for 2017

Burger King Announces Antibiotic-Free Chicken for 2017:  Fast-food chains Burger King and Tim Hortons announced that next year they will begin serving only chicken raised without the use of antibiotics.  They really had no choice.  Hell, when the Republicans get done with Obamacare - those chickens won’t be able to afford antibiotics anyway.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 30, 2016 at 9:45pm — 2 Comments

Kardashian-Jenner Family Donates 100 Gourmet Meals to Skid Row

Kardashian-Jenner Family Donates 100 Gourmet Meals to Skid Row:  According to sources, the Kardashian-Jenner family has donated 100 gourmet, chef-prepared meals to people in need on Skid Row, an impoverished area in downtown Los Angeles, California.  A Kardashian spokesperson say the family struggled over whether the donation should be gourmet, chef-prepared meals or tickets to the opera.  They finally decided on the gourmet meals because - while the opera…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 28, 2016 at 9:09pm — No Comments

Korean Airlines Will Allow Crew to Use Taser Guns

Korean Airlines Will Allow Crew to Use Taser Guns:  Korean Air Lines (KAL) says it will now allow crew members to use taser guns on rowdy passengers following an incident in which singer Richard Marx was forced to wrestle an uncontrollable passenger mid-flight.  So next time your flight attendant asks you to "please return your seat and tray to its full upright position," it might be a good idea to pay attention.  And if this works as planned, the airline is…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 27, 2016 at 10:38pm — No Comments

Tennessee Inmates Escape Jail Through Broken Toilet

Tennessee Inmates Escape Jail Through Broken Toilet:  The manhunt is on for two of the remaining six escapees who fled a Tennessee jail through a hole which housed a leaky toilet, after earlier plumbing repairs weakened the concrete used to encase the wall-mounted toilet unit. 

Police told reporters…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 26, 2016 at 10:00pm — No Comments

Mormon Tabernacle Choir to Perform at Trump Inauguration

Mormon Tabernacle Choir to Perform at Trump Inauguration: While many big-name performers have apparently been saying no to performing at the Donald Trump inauguration, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir has become one of the few well-known acts to say yes to the event. My word! That’s one gigantic organ that Tabernacle Choir has there! Bet you'd have to have pretty big hands to play an organ that big correctly.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 25, 2016 at 8:00pm — 5 Comments

Justin Bieber Books Virgin Galactic Space Flight

Justin Bieber Books Virgin Galactic Space Flight:  Embattled teen heartthrob Justin Bieber and his manager have reportedly booked a $250,000 space flight on Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic.  Good grief, isn’t there enough trash floating around in space already?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 24, 2016 at 7:42pm — No Comments

Antibiotics Sales Used in U.S. Farm Animals Rose Last Year

Antibiotics Sales Used in U.S. Farm Animals Rose Last Year:  The U.S. Food and Drug Administration reports that sales and distribution of antibiotics for use in farm animals significantly increased last year.  Oh, just perfect!  As if the lines at CVS, Walgreens and Rite-Aid weren’t long enough, now we’re gonna have to wait behind a bunch of farm animals trying to get their prescriptions filled also.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 23, 2016 at 10:10pm — No Comments

Alarming Number Of People Don't Know Human Reproductive Facts

Alarming Number Of People Don't Know Human Reproductive Facts:  A new report found that a surprising number of people are completely in the dark concerning some basic facts about human reproduction.  Now I’m no reproductive expert, but I’m guessing that’s because most of us hardly ever run into any storks anymore as we go about our daily lives.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 22, 2016 at 10:35pm — No Comments

Dozens of Health Department Employees Get Sick at Holiday Party

Dozens of Health Department Employees Get Sick at Holiday Party:  The New Mexico Department of Health says about 70 of its staff members became sick with gastrointestinal issues after its holiday party.  Now I’m far from a culinary expert, but I’m guessing that as a caterer, you can’t really do much worse than poison 70 members of your state's Department of Health.  In related news, the EPA has fined the Health Department for excessive methane emissions. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 21, 2016 at 10:06pm — No Comments

Pakistani Airline Crew Behead Black Goat on Tarmac for Safety

Pakistani Airline Crew Behead Black Goat on Tarmac for Safety:  After a Pakistan International Airlines jet recently crashed and killed all 47 people aboard, the airline grounded and inspected all of it’s planes before finally approving them to fly again - but not before the ground crew beheaded a black goat on the tarmac moments before the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 20, 2016 at 9:59pm — 2 Comments

Merriam-Webster Says 2016 Word of the Year is Surreal

Merriam-Webster Says 2016 Word of the Year is Surreal:  Merriam-Webster Dictionary announced that it’s official word of the year for 2016 is “surreal”, which the dictionary defines as “marked by the intensity of a dream.”  Yea, and why do I have the feeling next year’s word is gonna be “apocalyptic?”  Meanwhile, angry Trump supporters are asking “who the hell is Miriam Webster and why should we even care what she thinks?”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 19, 2016 at 9:48pm — 2 Comments

Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96

Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96:  Dr. Henry J. Heimlich, the surgeon who developed and crusaded for the anti-choking technique that has been credited with saving an estimated 100,000 lives, has died in Cincinnati at age 96.  As might be expected, many of those 100,000 people he saved say the news of his death has them really choked-up.  Now, the question is - how many of them would be willing to cough-up a few bucks to help pay for the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 18, 2016 at 8:17pm — 2 Comments

Pagan Priest Wins Right to Wear Goat Horns in License Photo

Pagan Priest Wins Right to Wear Goat Horns in License Photo:  A Pagan priest in Maine has won the right to wear goat horns in his driver’s license photo, with the court ruling that the horns are actually “religious attire.”  

Great news!  Wonder how they’d rule on my ceremonial beer can hat?  I do drink…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 17, 2016 at 9:00pm — 7 Comments

FBI Agrees With CIA on Russia Helping Trump Win White House

FBI Agrees With CIA on Russia Helping Trump Win White House:  Despite Trump campaign claims to the contrary, both FBI Director James B. Comey and Director of National Intelligence James R. Clapper Jr. are in agreement with a CIA assessment that Russia intervened in the 2016 election in part to help Donald Trump win the White House.  Hell, sounds like Sarah Palin may have been right after all when she said she could see Russia from her front…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 16, 2016 at 10:50pm — No Comments

Evangelist Graham Claims Russians Didn’t Influence US Elections - God Did

Evangelist Graham Claims Russians Didn’t Influence US Elections - God Did:  Evangelist Franklin Graham responded to recent allegations that Russian hackers released information that tipped the election over to Donald Trump and the Republicans by proclaiming “it wasn’t Russian hackers who influenced our elections - it was…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 15, 2016 at 9:40pm — 4 Comments

Adultery Website Ashley Madison Agrees to Pay $1.6M Fine

Adultery Website Ashley Madison Agrees to Pay $1.6M Fine:  The Toronto-based parent company of the adultery dating site Ashley Madison has agreed to pay $1.6 million in settlements following a FTC investigation that found the site’s lax security exposed millions of members data and created fake female profiles to attract more male customers.  I dated one of the fake female profiles for a while and everything was going really well until her damn imaginary…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 14, 2016 at 7:45pm — 5 Comments

Florida Fake Dentist Pulled Patient’s Teeth Without Anesthesia

Florida Fake Dentist Pulled Patient’s Teeth Without Anesthesia:  Florida police say 53-year-old Robbie Rheinlander has been taken into custody after posing as a dentist and performing dental work from a reclining chair in his living room, including making dentures and pulling patient’s teeth - often as many as 10 at a time and frequently…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 13, 2016 at 11:49pm — 2 Comments

NFL Silent About New Case of Under-Inflated Footballs

NFL Silent About New Case of Under-Inflated Footballs:  The New York Giants say they tested the air pressure in two footballs they captured during their recent game against the Pittsburgh Steelers and reported them to league officials as being below the permissible range of 12.5 PSI.  Geez, if this deflated air situation gets any worse up, the NFL is gonna need to replace all the referees with physicists.  Where’s Neil deGrasse Tyson when you need him? …

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 12, 2016 at 10:29pm — 1 Comment

Scientists Find Baby Dinosaur Encased In Amber

Scientists Find Baby Dinosaur Encased In Amber:  A paleontologist at the China University of Geosciences in Beijing have discovered the delicate, feathered tail of a tiny dinosaur which was buried in amber 99 million years ago.  I have a novel idea - why not clone it, put it on a remote tropical island where it and its clone brothers and sisters can run free and then make an amusement park out of the whole island?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 11, 2016 at 9:44pm — 6 Comments

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