Johnny Robish's Blog – December 2015 Archive (28)

Woman Too Old To List Age on Facebook

Woman Too Old To List Age on Facebook:  A 104-year-old woman is complaining to Facebook that she couldn’t post her real age because the birthdate drop-down menu only goes back as far as 1910.  Why bother complaining?  Hell, by the time she finishes scrolling down to her year, she’ll be dead anyway. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 31, 2015 at 6:25pm — 7 Comments

Baby Reaches Out From Womb To Grab Doctor's Finger

Baby Reaches Out From Womb To Grab Doctor's Finger:  In a photo that is going viral, a baby reached out of her mother's womb and grabbed her doctor's finger in the midst of a C-section delivery.  In related news, the doctor has filed a sexual harassment suit against the baby for unwanted touching.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 30, 2015 at 8:00am — 5 Comments

Oregon Firefighters Now Doing Mouth to Mouth for Pets

Oregon Firefighters Now Doing Mouth to Mouth for Pets:  The Fire Department of Ashland, Oregon has begun training its firefighters to give mouth to mouth to fire victim’s for pets also.  A department spokesperson says that while the training is going well, firefighters are being cautioned that any firefighter who lingers too long on any pet mouth to mouth may be subject to disciplinary action. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 28, 2015 at 9:00pm — 4 Comments

Zoo Tigers Involved in Deadly Love Triangle

Zoo Tigers Involved in Deadly Love Triangle:  Zoo officials say a female tiger has apparently killed her mate at a West Texas zoo in a rare attack that occurred after months of a simmering jealousy in a feline love triangle.  Authorities say if the allegations can be proven, this zoo tiger could spend the rest of her life behind bars.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 27, 2015 at 4:57pm — 5 Comments

Court Turns Down NH Couple Seeking to Undo Divorce

Court Turns Down NH Couple Seeking to Undo Divorce:  The New Hampshire Supreme Court upheld a lower court ruling refusing to undo (vacate) a couple's 2014 divorce after 24 years of marriage.  You mean to tell me marriage isn't just like "friending" or "un-friending" someone on Facebook?  Of course the solution is really quite simple - just fly to Vegas, find yourself an Elvis impersonator and get remarried.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 26, 2015 at 9:54pm — 3 Comments

Bristol Palin Announces Birth of Second Child

Bristol Palin Announces Birth of Second Child:  Bristol Palin, who’s primary occupation is being a $262,000-a-year spokesperson for an abstinence campaign she launched to counter society’s declining “liberal” moral values, has given birth to her second child - a baby girl whom she has named Sailor Grace.  …

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 25, 2015 at 7:11pm — 3 Comments

No Nutritional Advantage to Expensive Organic Food

No Nutritional Advantage to Expensive Organic Food:  A new study finds that organic products have no significant nutritional advantage over conventional foods, even though consumers usually pay significantly more for them.  In related news, another study found that there’s no significant advantage to high-end hookers, even though you pay significantly more for them.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 24, 2015 at 7:30pm — 9 Comments

Mysterious Gold Artifact From Israeli Site Solved by Facebook User

Mysterious Gold Artifact From Israeli Site Solved by Facebook User:  An eight-pound, gold object that was found at an archaeological site in a Jerusalem cemetery that baffled Israeli archaeologists for months has been identified by a Facebook user in Italy as a New Age energy healing device currently manufactured in Germany.  Now I’m no archaeologist, but if I were, I’d always work from the premise that if you can buy it on e-Bay or Amazon, its…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 23, 2015 at 9:10pm — 4 Comments

Man Sues Foster's Beer for Not Really Being Australian

Man Sues Foster's Beer for Not Really Being Australian:  In the latest controversy over imported beers, a New York City man is suing Foster’s beer for an allegedly false portrayal of its product as originating in Australia.  No big deal, I kind of made peace with that shortly after I learned that Mars bars don’t come from Mars.  Personally, I have no problem calling Foster’s Australian, its labeling it beer that I consider a bit of a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 22, 2015 at 9:30pm — 12 Comments

Study Claims Dogs and Wolves Spilt 33,000 Years Ago

Study Claims Dogs and Wolves Spilt 33,000 Years Ago:  A newly published study analyzed the entire genome sequences of various wolves and dogs from around the world and determined that the two animals spit part approximately 33,000 years ago in the southern part of eastern Asia.  With that complete, researchers say their next project is to translate those 33,000 years into dog years. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 21, 2015 at 9:30pm — 12 Comments

Florida Police Find Mobile Meth Lab in Back Of Mazda SUV

Florida Police Find Mobile Meth Lab in Back Of Mazda SUV:  When Florida cops responded to a shoplifting call at a St Augustine Walmart, they discovered that the suspect also was operating a mobile meth lab in the back of his Mazda CX7 SUV.  Why in the hell would anybody put a meth lab in the back of a Mazda SUV?  Now if he was really smart, he’d have been driving a Ford Escape.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 20, 2015 at 9:30pm — 3 Comments

Lip Balm Containing Pot Ingredient Thrown Out at Air Base

Lip Balm Containing Pot Ingredient Thrown Out at Air Base:  Air Force officials say they had to discard around 400 tubes of lip balm that were distributed at an air base in Alaska after they were found to contain trace amounts of THC, an active ingredient in marijuana.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 19, 2015 at 8:19pm — 6 Comments

Poll Finds 1/3 of Republicans Favor Bombing Fictional Agrabah

Poll Finds 1/3 of Republicans Favor Bombing Fictional Agrabah:  A new poll found that nearly one-third of Republican primary voters would support bombing the kingdom of Agrabah, the fictional country in the cartoon Aladdin.  Striking a more conciliatory tone, another third polled say they would love to vacation there if only airfares would go back down.  In stark contrast, many Democrats insisted that all diplomatic channels be exhausted before the order to…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 18, 2015 at 9:30pm — 14 Comments

Millions of Threatening Small Asteroids Remain Uncatalogued

Millions of Threatening Small Asteroids Remain Uncatalogued:  NASA scientists are expressing concern that there are millions of small asteroids that could threaten our world which still remain uncatalogued.  Yea, no doubt we’d all feel a lot safer just knowing that there’s a file on them setting somewhere in some government archive.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 17, 2015 at 9:01pm — 4 Comments

Study Finds British Teeth No Worse Than US

Study Finds British Teeth No Worse Than US:  New research suggests that contrary to popular belief, Americans do not have better teeth than the English.  Can’t say I’m surprised.  After all, the UK still has a monarchy which means much of their society centers around “the Crown.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 16, 2015 at 9:56pm — 3 Comments

Iran Seizes Thousands of Cars for Women’s Veil Offenses

Iran Seizes Thousands of Cars for Women’s Veil Offenses:  Iran officials report that they have impounded tens of thousands of cars since March because the women inside the vehicles did not have their hair covered properly with a headscarf.  I don’t know about Iran, but based upon some of the hairdos I’ve seen at places like Target and Walmart, perhaps we should begin impounding their hairstylist’s cars.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 15, 2015 at 9:01pm — 4 Comments

Town Fearful Solar Farm Would Consume All the Sun’s Light

Town Fearful Solar Farm Would Consume All the Sun’s Light:  Confused residents of the North Carolina town of Woodland, voted to kill a solar farm project in their area for fear that the solar panels would suck up all of the sun’s rays to the point of preventing photosynthesis.

What a brave little…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 14, 2015 at 10:00pm — 8 Comments

Young Woman Recovering After Stabbing at Nudist Resort

Young Woman Recovering After Stabbing at Nudist Resort:  Officials say an 18-year-old woman is reportedly doing fine after being stabbed while walking alone along a forest trail inside a Florida nudist resort, which members describe as a “nice, family oriented resort.”

A family…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 13, 2015 at 9:26pm — 6 Comments

Fans Plan to Mark Anniversary of Bela Lugosi’s Death

Fans Plan to Mark Anniversary of Bela Lugosi’s Death:  Horror fans plan to mark the 60th anniversary of Bela Lugosi’s death, the famed actor who played Dracula in the 1930’s, with a ceremony at his grave at Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City, California.  Good grief, talk about horror, imagine having to spend eternity in Culver City!…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 13, 2015 at 12:02am — 3 Comments

Study Concluded Estrogen Protects Women’s Memories

Study Concluded Estrogen Protects Women’s Memories:  A new study shows that estrogen appears to help protect women's memories from decline due to aging.  Researchers found that are being given the estrogen, women were once again able to remember crap their husbands did years ago and throw it right back in their faces.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on December 9, 2015 at 10:57pm — 2 Comments

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