Johnny Robish's Blog – November 2017 Archive (29)

Lobster Caught off Canada with Pepsi Logo ‘Tattooed’ on Its Claw

Lobster Caught off Canada with Pepsi Logo ‘Tattooed’ on Its Claw:  Concerns over debris littering the world’s oceans are back in the spotlight after a Canadian fishing crew found a lobster with the blue and red Pepsi logo imprinted like a tattoo on its claw in the waters off Grand Manan, New Brunswick.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 30, 2017 at 10:23pm — 3 Comments

Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought

Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought:  New data shows that one-thousand gigaton volcanic super-eruptions may happen much more frequent than previously thought, with scientists discovering they could occur as often as every 5,000 years - with the next big one is due any time.  Gee, I never thought I’d say this, but Jim Bakker’s doomsday $500 “Bucket-O-Mac & Cheese” with the 25-year shelf life is suddenly starting to sound like a…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 29, 2017 at 10:17pm — 9 Comments

Trump Administration Facing Criticism For Ignoring National Parks

Trump Administration Facing Criticism For Ignoring National Parks:  Environmentalists are heaping loads of criticism on the Trump Administration for ignoring our deteriorating National Park Service.  An Administration spokesperson disputes the claim, pointing out that President Trump has even expanded out National Park system - by recently declaring the famed shopping district surrounding Rodeo Drive as the “Kim Kardashian National Park.” …

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 28, 2017 at 10:21pm — 4 Comments

Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos

Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos:  Even while at a White House ceremony intended to honor the World War II Navajo code talkers, Trump found he couldn’t resist making a derogatory comment about his adversary Sen. Elizabeth Warren, referring to her once again as “Pocahontas.”  No surprise there - I mean this is a guy who politicized a speech he made to the damn Boy Scouts.  Kind of makes you wonder he’ll do next?  Throw paper…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 27, 2017 at 9:43pm — 7 Comments

Sebastian Gorka Always Carries 2 Guns And Tourniquet

Sebastian Gorka Always Carries 2 Guns And Tourniquet:  A firearms publication called Recoil recently published a profile and a picture of items that Sebastian Gorka - the controversial former Trump aide - routinely carries around on him, which includes two firearms, a Butane lighter, a mini copy of the Constitution and a tourniquet.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 26, 2017 at 9:28pm — 4 Comments

Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year

Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year:  President Trump is claiming that Time magazine was contemplating naming him the “Person of the Year” for a second year in a row, but he pulled out of the running because he didn't want to participate in their interview and photo shoot.  OK, so Donald Trump pulled out of Time’s “Person of the Year!”  Frankly, I think we’d all be a lot better off had his father - Fred Trump - pulled out…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 25, 2017 at 10:03pm — 9 Comments

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Net Worth Now More Than $100 Billion

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Net Worth Now More Than $100 Billion:  Amazon founder and chief executive Jeffrey P. Bezos saw his net worth climb above $100 billion as shares in his online retail giant surged on optimism over holiday sales.  Meanwhile, the rest of us are trying to save 15% or more by switching to Geico for car insurance.  I guess this only goes to show that - you can have all the money in the world, but it still doesn’t buy you hair.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 24, 2017 at 9:28pm — 7 Comments

New Report on Mormon Masturbation Interviews

New Report on Mormon Masturbation Interviews:  A new report claims that children and teens in the Mormon church, often as young as eight years old, are frequently and aggressively interrogated and shamed by local church officials about masturbation and sex.  While I don’t agree with their practice of interrogating kids about masturbation, I can at least understand where they’re coming from.  I mean, if you have 15 or 20 wives you’re having sex with, its…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 23, 2017 at 7:06pm — 3 Comments

Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony Held at White House

Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony Held at White House:  In the annual Presidential ceremony at the White House, President Trump has pardoned a Thanksgiving turkey they’ve named “Drumstick."

The following day, the President angrily tweeted he has yet to receive the expected thank you call or tweet from either…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 22, 2017 at 9:28pm — 2 Comments

Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat

Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat:  Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of the Earth, a California man intends to prove the Earth is flat by launching himself 1,800 feet into the air at 500 miles per hour in a homemade, steam-powered rocket he built out of scrap metal.  So, to prove the Earth is flat, he’s gonna go “splat!”  I’m guessing he must have missed the last solar eclipse.  And he’ll be…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 21, 2017 at 9:53pm — 1 Comment

Moon Landing Truthers Say Photo is Proof of Faked Apollo Landing

Moon Landing Truthers Say Photo is Proof of Faked Apollo Landing:  Moon landing truthers - who have been claiming for years that the NASA moon landings are fake and actually filmed on a Hollywood soundstage and not the Moon - have been in a state of total excitation of late, thanks to a new picture posted recently on YouTube.  The picture…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 20, 2017 at 10:21pm — 11 Comments

Ohio Judge Who Boasted About Sex Conquests Apologizes

Ohio Judge Who Boasted About Sex Conquests Apologizes:  Ohio gubernatorial candidate and sitting state Supreme Court Justice Bill O’Neill has issued an apology for boasting about having bedded 50 very attractive females, saying he was deeply sorry if he offended any of the “wonderful women” in his life.  He then went on to single out numbers 7, 19, 26 and 31 for special praise - about whose performance he described as “nothing short of…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 19, 2017 at 10:39pm — 7 Comments

Televangelist Jim Bakker Demands Viewers Buy His Pancake Mix

Televangelist Jim Bakker Demands Viewers Buy His Pancake Mix:  Disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker warned viewers that their grandchildren could face eternal damnation and President Trump possibly be assassinated unless they send him $60 (plus shipping and handling) for a bucket of the pancake mix which he is selling.  All I can say is, let this serve as a warning to all of you who think you can just eat at IHOP once in a while and still save your souls - the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 18, 2017 at 10:56pm — 9 Comments

Believers Gather at First Ever Flat-Earth Conference

Believers Gather at First Ever Flat-Earth Conference:  The first-ever Flat Earth International Conference, aimed at disputing the idea that the world is round, has just wrapped up in North Carolina.  Gee, I was gonna attend, but I never got “around” to it.  OK, I really didn’t go because I was flat-broke.  Besides, what on Earth do they hope to accomplish anyway?  Don’t they know there’s nothing new under the sun?  Personally, I think a lot of guys just go to…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 17, 2017 at 9:28pm — 11 Comments

American Heart Association President Suffers Heart Attack

American Heart Association President Suffers Heart Attack:  The president of the American Heart Association, cardiologist Dr. John Warner, is reportedly resting comfortably after suffering a minor heart attack during the organization's scientific conference taking place in Anaheim, California.  Fortunately for him, when the call went out “is there a doctor in the house?” - everyone in the entire room raised their hands.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 16, 2017 at 10:20pm — 4 Comments

Leonardo da Vinci Painting Sells for Record $450 Million

Leonardo da Vinci Painting Sells for Record $450 Million:  A painting of Christ by the Renaissance master Leonardo da Vinci, has sold at auction for a record $450 million, obliterating previous records for artworks sold at auction or privately.  Wow, that’s one hell of a lot of money - especially when you consider Christ didn’t even pose for it.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 15, 2017 at 10:01pm — 11 Comments

Limbaugh Says Moore Was a Democrat When He Targeted Teen Girls

Limbaugh Says Moore Was a Democrat When He Targeted Teen Girls:  Rush Limbaugh has added a new twist to those Republicans defending evangelical Alabama US Senate candidate Roy Moore, telling viewers that Moore was actually a Democrat during the period of time when he allegedly made sexual advances towards five teenage…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 14, 2017 at 9:09pm — 18 Comments

Alabama Mall Banned Roy Moore in the ’80s for Pursuing Teens

Alabama Mall Banned Roy Moore in the ’80s for Pursuing Teens:  Former mall employees and local police have told the New Yorker that Alabama Republican Senate nominee Roy Moore was banned from a mall in the early 1980s for repeatedly attempting to pick up teenage girls.  In response, talk show host and Moore defender Sean Hannity told his listeners that while Moore may have been trying to pick up underage girls, at least he wasn’t trying to arrange…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 13, 2017 at 10:39pm — 27 Comments

Roger Goodell Wants $50M and Private Jet Use for Life

Roger Goodell Wants $50M and Private Jet Use for Life:  NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is reportedly demanding a salary increase from $30 million to $50 million a year, lifetime use of a private jet and lifetime health insurance for him and his family in contract renegotiation talks.  Gee, you can’t afford health insurance on a $50 million a year salary?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 12, 2017 at 10:35pm — 9 Comments

Cretaceous Era Frilled Shark Found Swimming Off Coast of Portugal

Cretaceous Era Frilled Shark Found Swimming Off Coast of Portugal:  A prehistoric, dinosaur-era shark with really bizarre-looking teeth - usually found at ocean depths as deep as 4200 ft - and of which scientists say has remained basically unchanged for the past 80 million years, has been found swimming off the coast of…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 11, 2017 at 10:20pm — 15 Comments

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