Johnny Robish's Blog – November 2016 Archive (25)

Air-Conditioner Maker Carrier Will Not Send Jobs to Mexico

Air-Conditioner Maker Carrier Will Not Send Jobs to Mexico:  Donald Trump has reportedly made a deal with air-conditioner manufacturer Carrier not to close two factories in Mike Pence’s home state of Indiana, preventing 1000 jobs from going to Mexico.  Good thing too, because with Donald Trump the only person standing between us and global warming, we’re definitely gonna need those air-conditioners.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 30, 2016 at 8:00pm — 4 Comments

Squirrel With Plague Detected In California Campground

Squirrel With Plague Detected In California Campground:  According to a public health advisory, a ground squirrel found in a Los Angeles-area campground has tested positive for plague, causing authorities to shut down part of the Angeles National Forest for at least a week.  In an angry late night tweet, President-elect Donald Trump promised that as soon as he takes office, he plans to look into revoking squirrel camping privileges in all of our nation’s…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 29, 2016 at 10:22pm — 4 Comments

Beavers Reintroduced to Britain After 400 Years

Beavers Reintroduced to Britain After 400 Years:  After being hunted to death during a beaver fur craze, a five-year reintroduction program has once again reestablished a healthy population of beavers in Scotland’s lochs and rivers.  All I can say is, it’s about dam time.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 25, 2016 at 10:37pm — No Comments

UPS Driver Has Sex With Hooker in His Truck Who Posts Online

UPS Driver Has Sex With Hooker in His Truck Who Posts Online:  A UPS driver who decided to spend his lunch break having sex with a prostitute in the back of his delivery truck will probably regret his decision after the hooker took pics with her cellphone and posted them online.  The UPS driver claimed all he was doing was delivering his package.  Talk about the postman cometh.  And ladies, don’t forget to ask your carrier “what brown can do for…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 24, 2016 at 11:44pm — 4 Comments

Officials Say Trump Declining Intelligence Briefings

Officials Say Trump Declining Intelligence Briefings: Some in the intelligence community are privately expressing concern over the fact that President-elect Donald Trump has been turning away intelligence briefers since his election win, noting that he has only received two classified intelligence briefings since his surprise election victory. That shouldn’t be a problem, because if you remember, he told Billy Bush he’s pretty good at quickly “grabbing hold…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 23, 2016 at 9:54pm — 6 Comments

Study Finds Fewer U.S. Parents Spanking Their Kids

Study Finds Fewer U.S. Parents Spanking Their Kids:  A new U.S. study suggests that spanking and hitting children to discipline them has become much less common in recent decades as more parents choose non-physical approaches such as “time-outs” instead.  Of course the complete opposite is true for the Cleveland Browns’ defense, who could use a lot more hitting and substantially less time-outs.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 22, 2016 at 9:57pm — No Comments

Kanye West Cancels US Tour After Crazy Rants

Kanye West Cancels US Tour After Crazy Rants:  Organizers say rap superstar Kanye West has pulled the plug on his North American tour, two days after a rambling onstage tirade against fellow artists Jay Z and Beyonce.  This has a lot of people worried about Kanye - worried that he might resume touring again.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 21, 2016 at 7:30pm — 2 Comments

Melania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January

Melania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January:  President-elect Donald Trump has confirmed that his wife Melania and their 10-year-old son Barron will remain in New York and not move into the White House after her husband takes office in January.  I get that.  You can’t expect her to have to crap in a toilet that's not made of gold.  We wouldn't want any of the Trumps inconvenienced by the presidency.  Hell, with any luck, Trump won't be moving…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 20, 2016 at 10:30pm — 5 Comments

Starbucks Requests No Guns in Their Stores

Starbucks Requests No Guns in Their Stores:  In response to the “open carry” movement popular in some areas, Starbucks chief executive Howard Schultz is asking customers of the coffee chain to honor his request to refrain from bringing loaded firearms into its stores.  I see his point - it could get downright confusing for the baristas if someone requests an “extra shot” in their cappuccino.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 19, 2016 at 10:30pm — 4 Comments

Trump Settles Trump University Fraud Case for $25 Million

Trump Settles Trump University Fraud Case for $25 Million:  President-elect Donald Trump has agreed to a $25 million settlement to end the fraud cases pending against his defunct real estate program Trump University.  And now that he’s settled the fraud charges against him, its time to get busy cleaning up all the corruption in Washington. …

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 18, 2016 at 11:01pm — 4 Comments

Earliest-Known Ten Commandments Fetches $850,000

Earliest-Known Ten Commandments Fetches $850,000:  The world’s oldest-known stone carrying the full inscription of the Ten Commandments has sold for $850,000 at a Beverly Hills auction.  Now I won’t pretend to claim I’ve kept all the commandments, but I can report that so far I’ve been pretty damn good about not “coveting thy neighbor’s man-servant.”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 17, 2016 at 11:52pm — 7 Comments

German Scientists Discover Shortest Unit Of Time Ever

German Scientists Discover Shortest Unit Of Time Ever:  Scientists in Munich have, for the first time, been able to measure something in a zeptosecond, or a trillionth of a billionth of a second.  Researchers say they need units of measurement down to this scale if they are to accurately measure the attention span of American voters.  Makes you wonder why something like this wasn't discovered by American scientists.  Guess they just didn't have the…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 16, 2016 at 9:12pm — 7 Comments

Pics Show Contrast Between Madonna’s Youngish Face and Aging Hands

Pics Show Contrast Between Madonna’s Youngish Face and Aging Hands:  Several news outlets have been pointing out the obvious contrast between pop icon Madonna’s youngish face and what appears to be her aging hands in a recently published pic.  Well, she’s obviously had a facelift and a boob job, perhaps its time for a hand job.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 15, 2016 at 11:51pm — No Comments

Trump Picks White Nationalist Hero Steve Bannon

Trump Picks White Nationalist Hero Steve Bannon:  In what will surely be considered a controversial move, President-elect Donald Trump has selected white nationalist hero and executive chairman of Breitbart News’ Steve Bannon as his chief strategist and senior counselor.  Rounding out other appointments, Trump has pegged militia leader Ammon Bundy to be Secretary of Defense, celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck as Secretary of Steak and comedian Don Rickles as…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 14, 2016 at 10:45pm — 1 Comment

Recording of Alexander Graham Bell Released

Recording of Alexander Graham Bell Released:  The Smithsonian National Museum of American History has released a voice recording of Alexander Graham Bell from 1885, marking the first time most people have ever heard the phone inventor’s actual voice.  And the immortal words he uttered in that historic recording still ring true today - “Can you hear me?  Can you hear me now?”…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 12, 2016 at 10:38pm — No Comments

Orangutan Picks Cocktail by Observing Ingredients in Drin

Orangutan Picks Cocktail by Observing Ingredients in Drink:  As a demonstration of their higher intelligence, researchers say an orangutan has matched predictions by choosing a mixed beverage based upon his fondness for the separate ingredients in each drink.  Oh, for heaven’s sakes!  So some big ape drops by the Brass Monkey Lounge and orders himself a Banana Daiquiri - what’s the big deal about that?…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 11, 2016 at 10:46pm — 4 Comments

Sen. McConnell Says Repealing Obamacare is Job #1

Sen. McConnell Says Repealing Obamacare is Job #1:  Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters now that the election is over, Republicans will move quickly to repeal Obamacare after President-elect Trump takes office and the GOP retains its majority.

McConnell said that their new slogan after…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 9, 2016 at 8:52pm — 4 Comments

New Zebra Wetsuits Confuse and Repel Sharks

New Zebra Wetsuits Confuse and Repel Sharks:  An Australian company has come out with a line of wetsuit designs with a “zebra-looking pattern” that make the wearer look undesirable to the sharks.  Unfortunately, once back onshore, you’re likely to be chased down and eaten by a lion.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 8, 2016 at 9:50pm — 2 Comments

Trump’s Staff Keeping Him Off Twitter in Final Days

Trump’s Staff Keeping Him Off Twitter in Final Days:  According to multiple sources, Donald Trump’s campaign staff has reportedly taken away his Twitter account privileges during the Republican nominee’s last few days on the campaign trail.  Wow, apparently all the rapists, murderers and overweight beauty queens get the last laugh after all.  On the other hand, if he does get elected, probably best to give him back his Twitter - lest he gets bored and starts…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 7, 2016 at 11:46pm — 2 Comments

FBI Will File No Charges Against Hillary Clinton

FBI Will File No Charges Against Hillary Clinton:  FBI Director James Comey has notified key members of Congress that after reviewing all of the newly discovered Hillary Clinton emails, the agency hasn’t found anything there which would warrant filing charges.  Well, now that that’s settled, the FBI will finally have some time to look into Trump’s accusations about Ted Cruz's father’s involvement in the Kennedy assassination.…

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Added by Johnny Robish on November 6, 2016 at 10:30pm — No Comments

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